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Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."
This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo
9/16/04 - Day 77 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest
Another ugly macaroni incident
We've seen Diane do some nasty things this summer, but this was low even for her. Cowboy sent a JE T'AIME message to April & Chasen using yesterday's YOU'RE HOT noodles.. (I'm not sure who, but one of them spelled in French yesterday - Cowboy didn't take apart YOU'RE HOT to spell today's note)
Diane was keeping Drew company while he began his all-day packing job, and scuffed out the message with her foot as she chatted with him.. Cowboy came in a bit later and said "Oh, y'all messed it up".. Diane replied "I'm sorry, but we had to" Had to? HAD to?? That was no game-lie, that was just flat-out mean.. and she said it so easily
Our theme for today is unchanged, but it rotates more frequently, and it's louder:
Cowboy talks evictees/April/Chasen, with extra helpings of "I'm poor" thrown in, he rants about Diane to Drew and works the loyalty angle, and he worries or sleeps when alone.. Diane rants about anything handy, she rants about Cowboy to Drew and works the couple angle, and she parannoys or studies the mirror when alone.. Drew says "you & me to the end" to Diane and rants about Cowboy; he says "you & me to the end" to Cowboy and rants about Diane, and he whisper-sighs "whooo" when alone
Diane: You never promised to take him to the final two did you?
Diane: I hate him so much!
Drew: If I wanted to, I could be married now, I could have kids.. but it's an expense.. don't say 'poor me, poor me' - he can go to school! He can get a better job
Cowboy: Nothing they (diary) say can change my mind.. I'm not gonna put my brother out to dry, it's not worth it.. as God is my witness! I'm not gonna have Chasen come to me one day and say 'hey why did you do this?' These decisions affect the rest of my life
Drew: Uh huh.. yep..
Cowboy: We ride together, we die together, bad boys for life.. actually horsemen for life
The tension builds as they record farewells to each other.. Diane goes back for a second shot at Drew's.. in a rare convo, Diane & Cowboy sum up the last 11 weeks in a few words.. then they play four-square, arguing over the rules and referring to "people in line".. Drew reminisces about tetherball
Diane (at photo wall): How did you get all the way through this game without pissing anyone off?
Diane: You guys
Cowboy: Being ourselves
Diane: I was myself!
The big "uh-oh" of the day comes when Diane examines Drew's luggage and the tags his mom put on his bags.. then the boys try to pack her away, but Cowboy fits better
Diane: Is that your phone number? That's easy to remember!
Diane (singsong voice): I know your phone number
Diane: I can't believe that's your phone number.. that's so easy to remember!
Cowboy's all packed except for his hats and is as amazed as we are at the amount of clothes Drew has.. he goes down for a nap as the other two pack around him
Cowboy: Prettyboy, you're such a girl
Diane offers to help Drew, but he says he doesn't want things wrinkled.. he keeps pulling out more and more stuff and stacking it up, neatly
Diane: Drew, you're such a girl.. I'm dating a girl.. just call me gay
Drew: It's called metrosexual
Diane: Like I said, just call me gay
Diane: I can't believe I know your phone number.. I'm really good at remembering phone numbers
Drew: They have to give us some extra bags
Diane naps.. Drew can't sleep so he starts his laundry.. Cowboy follows..Drew says he keeps trying not to think about anything
Cowboy: She's still thinking that the jury hates her
Drew: That's so not true!
Cowboy: They gonna be questions tomorrow?
(Drew tells Cowboy that he slipped the other night when Diane asked about final two)
Cowboy: When Nakomis was here, she kinda said, moreless cuz your dad's got money, she don't want you to win it
Diane joins them and announces she'll make them a fish dinner - she's happy - then she goes to diary for a third attempt at her goodbye to Drew.. Drew cusses inside lockdown since he left his laundry too late again and still has a lot to do
Diane: I've never made fish before, but I think I can do it.. when they ask me what I've learned in here, I'll tell 'em I learned how to cook!
Drew: She has to think that hard to say her goodbye speech? Makes me feel real good!
Cowboy: Do I have to be scared of her?
Drew: Dude! No way.. it just makes me feel shitty!
Cowboy: I know some of the things women have done
Drew: You should see the goodbye I gave you, it was funny! I should have said 'I know you aren't leaving'
Cowboy: She just scares me
Drew: Don't be scared, man.. I guarantee you man.. she's the kind of girl that just goes for the guys who make her think she looks good
Cowboy: She treats you like shit!
Drew: All I'm saying is I'm gonna have the last laugh.. dude, she's such a bitch sometimes!
Meanwhile, Diane's still mostly packed from Thursday, but she has new problems: as her shirt proclaims, she's got nothing to wear tomorrow.. she goes back & forth between her walk-in closets, cycling through her fashion show rejects again
Females and metrosexuals everywhere can feel her pain.. then she comes up with an idea and presents it for Drew's approval
Diane: What if I wore something plain.. but I could do my hair up all curly, and wear lots of jewelry?
Drew: Ok.. think they'll give us some extra bags?
They finally make some progress packing.. Drew & Diane tag-team an overpacked bag into submission and line it up with the others
They all enjoy the dinner.. Cowboy thanks Diane for making it, Drew doesn't.. Diane sets up new temporary headquarters in the eviction corner.. later she snuggles with Drew and they whisper about Cowboy.. Cowboy lies awake listening, and nervousing
Diane: This place is so pretty when we don't have slobs around to mess it up
Drew: Best it's ever looked
Drew: At least you can believe what people say, 75% of the time.. it's gonna be weird seeing everyone
Diane: I hope people aren't gonna be sour, cuz they didn't make it to the end
Diane: We can't stop kissing like dogs
Drew: Thanks, that makes me feel real good.. I kiss like a dog
When picking your favorites for tomorrow's HOH winner and the evictee to get this close and go home with nothing, remember that it doesn't matter who wins unless you're a second cousin or better.. instead, consider which two of this sloppy trio you'd like to spend the weekend with:
Drew & Diane could mean awkward "uh-oh, now what" moments; knock-down drag-out fights like we've never seen before; and/or really dull, inept sex
Drew & Cowboy means we can get out of the house and back to our lives til the Tuesday finale: nothing will happen.. it'll be like weaning us off the habit gradually
Diane & Cowboy is the wildcard matchup: no telling what that would be like.. but it's a fair bet it would be interesting
How to pick a winner
It was a dull day in the hamster cage, with a lot of poopy incidents.. but I think in these dog days of the season, we need to decide who we're rooting for or against, and why
We're all at a disadvantage due to this ugly orange chair in the ugly purple room: we should be able to watch diaries as they happen, unedited, like we're able to watch most of the rest of it, in order to form accurate judgements of which hamsters are worthy of our vote and which get kicked to the curb.. (It doesn't matter that we don't have a vote: we like to think that we do).. The real jury is also denied the crucial diary portions of our program, so they too need to adopt one of these methods to choose a winner:
Played the best game
This is the popular, politically-correct method that everyone claims to use, but nobody really does.. nearly every 'game' falls into one of the other categories
Lied the best/most
This one's a little squirrely as it crosses over into ethical/unethical territory, and that leads to arguments about politics and/or religion, and that leads to flame wars and 'yo momma' cracks every time.. BB2's Will is the exception here: he won cuz he skirted the moral issues and flat-out lied about everything - except the fact that he was a liar
Needs the money most
Puh-leez! We all 'need' a half million dollars! Anyone who goes on a tv show to pay their Visa bill or cuz they can't scrape together the next car payment should consider credit counseling, bankruptcy, gambling, or steady employment: we're all tired of the sob stories (this means you, Cowboy)
An obvious front-runner for internet fans, but more jury members are closet cutest-sexiest-dreamiest voters than they'll admit
A favorite for internet fans and jury alike, it's what most really mean when they say 'best game'.. basically it means 'smarter than me'.. Given the fact that we're dealing with people who are spending the summer being humiliated for our enjoyment and pooping on camera, most hamsters are eliminated from this category by sending in their application
Played like I would
The big daddy for internet fans who haven't caught on that everyone's different and everyone does different things for different reasons.. it's the most popular judging criteria and the dumbest: they aren't you! get over it
One of the elimination categories, this one's about rooting for anyone except the player who took out your favorite (or yourself, if on the jury).. this one usually decides the winner.. in gamespeak it's also known as 'nothing personal'
Creeped me out
Another elimination category, this is rooting for anyone except the player who gives you the willies or reminds you of your ex.. more popular among internet fans than the jury, which is odd: they're the ones who lived with the creepies - we can shut 'em off
I just like him/her
Hands-down easiest method because it requires no reasons or explanations, making it the best category for avoiding involvement in flame wars
Deserves to win
This means you don't know or don't care and are probably just afraid of getting involved in a flame war.. back it up with something or shift over to 'I just like him/her'
A personal favorite, but let's face it: the ones that entertain us the most are usually the ones that drive them nuts inside.. there's probably a connection
Played with integrity
This is a nice pipe-dream for optimists and romantics, but not much more: in reality tv, the good die young
I hate them all equally
Most feedsters end up here sooner or later
(observant HamsterWatch regulars will notice I use different categories for the daily ratings.. in case you're wondering, it's random)
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