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9/17/04 - Day 78 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest
Bro's before ho's to the end
On their own at last, the two boys finally do what they've been wanting to do for weeks.. unfortunately, neither measures up as a man
In a move that shocked almost nobody but Diane, Drew finally proved that he's as scummy as we suspected by breaking the girl's heart on national tv, without giving her a clue it was coming
One thing Drew & Diane have in common is vanity, and obsession about how they're perceived.. even knowing this about Diane, he let her walk the plank to Julie's boudoir and the viewing public in tears, but not before offering to shake hands good-bye
Drew shared her bed right up until the end like the whore that he is.. he may be saying that she didn't have real feelings for him in there, but he isn't fooling me: he knows, and he doesn't care.. he chose to let her pain be public, rather than have to deal with her reaction if he'd told her what was coming
Cowboy's not much better: he helped manipulate Drew into this decision, and he's harangued Drew for days how brotherhood is more important than girlfriends.. yet he drones on in the same breath how he'd do anything for the lovely April.. Drew's too stupid to pick up on these things, so he sent Diane packing, and he kept the guy he calls 'motherfucker' behind his back (and not in a happy Marvin kinda way)
Diane's a lot of things, and many of them aren't pleasant, but she didn't deserve this.. she dragged Drew through the game like dead weight, doing all the dirty work and taking all the blame, and all cuz she fell for the guy.. the kind of treatment he gave her tonight is likely the kind of thing that's made her as bitter and desperate to be loved as she is
Diane found out what was coming when Drew said 'I have to break my word to one of you' because he'd flat-out lied to her as recently as yesterday that he hadn't promised Cowboy to take him to finals, but she rallied hope one last time that it was only about 'game' on her way to meet Julie - again, her natural self-defense at work.. But seeing his heartless farewell to her, after having just told him 'I care about you more than anything else in the world, and you know that' was more than she could take.. it was more than most of us could take.. even diehard Diane-haters felt bad for the girl tonight
Yea, it's a game, but this was out of bounds.. Diane held up admirably tonight in an impossible situation, and I'm proud of her for that.. I'm also glad she didn't trip walking the plank in those stilettos
I'm pleased to report that Diane has referred to this HamsterWatch episode as inspiration - thanks Diane! Take care of yourself :)
live show screencaps stolen from Aldav as usual - see his Diane tribute
thanks to Backslash as always
more on Diane in today's postscript
Around dawn this morning, Drew was spotted in the back yard.. (he rarely gets up from sleep).. Cowboy's a light sleeper and followed him out - they had a quick whisper and went back to bed.. Diane's also a light sleeper.. she reported to her headquarters when Drew returned to bed, then ranted at him for waking her "I should just hang myself.. get me some fucking cyanide"
For much of the live show prep 'n primp she was in the eviction corner where Karen & both twins had done time before their last live shows.. after all her agonizing over what to wear yesterday, she looked lovely.. feminine, and almost delicate
Cowboy's made his bed and waits for Julie.. Diane is noticeably alone in the twin nominee chairs (as she is during the show itself).. outside Drew shuffles back & forth through his color-coded Bible, looking for an appropriate passage.. Diane opens a beer and offers one to Cowboy
Diane: I can't wait to get out of here! and clean my fucking face up
Diane (to Cowboy): Don't drink it if you think it might impair your ability.. it could be your last Big Brother beer.. it could be MY last Big Brother beer
She goes outside to Drew for a few minutes, and back in.. a bit later they close themselves into the gym room, and the fishies take them away
Diane (coming back in): I'll be in with fuckface
Diane (to Cowboy): I love to see Drew pray cuz he looks like an angel.. he really does
Diane's last words on the feeds: I gotta get higher pants
The "I love you's" come at last, along
with a couple FCC fines before the door
latches closed behind her
The final two celebrate with champagne, toasting to "the man up above", and rearranging the photos to their liking
Cowboy: And then you'll find out if she really cares for you
Drew: We always said we're gonna keep personal and game separate
Cowboy: Same with me and Nakomis
Drew: Whatever happens, happens
Cowboy says grace over Chinese take-out.. Drew justifies kicking Diane out.. they finally get around to reading the rulebook now that they have to play the game on their own.. Drew is all smiles
Cowboy: Dear lord, first off.. (he continues 3 or 4 minutes about the game, the horsemen, they're getting money, etc).. that said, thank you for this food..
Cowboy: The way she came in here, saying she's the most beautiful girl in the world..
Cowboy: I hope she wasn't playing you
Drew: I don't know.. she kissed every guy in the house
Drew: I wish I could hear what Diane said in diary room, she could be in there saying 'Drew is such a dumbass'
Drew: I think and wonder what they're gonna ask
They play golf awhile, cheering themselves and their victory thus far.. and they break into a sudden and disturbing phallic horsie romp through the compound
Drew (outside): Diane's not here anymore, Sound Guy that has the crush on her
Drew (to Cowboy): She acted like she knew everybody!
Drew says he wishes he had a picture of Vanessa, the girl he left behind..
They tuck in early, side by side, both saying they're happy to be here, to be
guaranteed $50k.. and each says he'd each be happy to come in 2nd to the other
Drew (alone): Mom Dad Ben I'm bringing home some cash.. a lot more than I thought I would
(Drew says something about 'my girlfriend.. Vanessa')
Cowboy: What did you two have going on?
Drew: We both agreed it'd be a break in here.. I only saw her once every two weeks in the summer..
Cowboy: Did y'all talk about what would happen if you met a girl on the internet? I mean, in here?
Drew: She never even knew what show I was on.. I didn't tell her, I didn't tell anybody.. I told her I might be back in a week.. she said it better not be 'The Bachelor'
Drew: I don't know about Diane, I don't know if she was being serious or not.. with her DR's and all..
Drew: I mean I still like Diane, there's no way I could be like 'I hate you' because of the game..
Cowboy: Y'all could work through it with Vanessa, but y'all got some money now
Cowboy: How would she take it, like if you was on a sitcom, and you had to kiss a girl?
(he goes on to say April will be ok with it, unless he kisses Julia Roberts, but he says he would kiss Julia anyway)
Drew: Diane is such a devious woman
Cowboy: She's a good girl though
(Cowboy asks about Drew's dad's law firm)
Drew: It's just Dad and a secretary
Cowboy: Is the secretary close friends with your family?
Drew: Pretty much, she's been with him for years
Cowboy: She got any kids?
Drew: Umm one.. I think
Drew: I still remember looking at my lifesavers.. that lifesaver thing really helped me throughout this game
Drew: Dude I swear on my life.. I didn't tell you that cuz I wanted your natural reaction
Cowboy: Screw my natural reaction!
Drew: I was scared that week, cuz Jase was gone.. I knew he was gone, Diane told me
Cowboy: I was hanging on by the hair on my chin-chin-chin
More human than human
She said and did some truly hateful and hurtful things - and I called her on them day after day - but I didn't have to.. nobody's harder on Diane than she is on herself
She works hard to hide her vulnerability.. but when it finally escapes and shows itself is when even her worst critics feel for her, and like her
I loved watching Diane.. she's a walking definition of drama queen, and that always makes for good tv, and good feeds.. I missed a lot of convos and events along the way cuz I'd usually select the Diane channel for guaranteed 'never a dull moment'
Game-wise, Diane did most of the driving, along with Karen.. Karen was about defense and setting up a well-constructed set of final moves, and while she was very aware of Diane's own solid defensive skills, she didn't pay enough attention to Diane's brilliance for offensive maneuvers until it was too late
I didn't either.. I thought early on that Diane was largely responsible for ousting Holly and Scott simply because they were in her limelight, and maybe that's true.. and when the pivotal Jase eviction came along, with Diane convincing her crush to betray his friend and brother, I thought she was only controlling Drew by his blue balls, cuz she could, to further her own career in the game.. soon afterward it started becoming clear to me that she was doing it all to further his.. everything she did in the game after that was for him
It would have been cool to watch Diane fall in love so deeply, so easily.. if it hadn't been so obvious that it wasn't mutual, that Diane was playing for keeps while Drew was just on a date.. even in bed it was always about his wants and his limits, and she was ok with that too.. most of the times we saw pure joy in Diane, it was inspired in her by Drew.. and the few times we saw her succumb to real pain it was due to him, too
It doesn't matter that she was too naive or too dazzled by the stars in her eyes to see what was going on.. even towards the end she was clearly (if subconsciously) testing his feelings for her.. all that matters is that she wanted it so desperately she refused to see that the tests all came back negative
I've said many times that I think Diane has some deep emotional damage, the kind of damage that doesn't happen by itself - it's put there - and it's a testament to her intelligence, resiliency, and finely-tuned survival skills that she was able to take Drew all the way.. and in the end, to the surprise of many, it was the ever-self-centered girl's unselfishness that pushed him to the top: she was certain she could only take 2nd place to him, and she was ok with that.. and then he took it away from her, in a public humiliation most of us won't soon forget
Diane fits the glamour role better than she realizes, but it's when she was just being the 22-year-old Kentucky girl that I liked her best.. she was always a sore loser and usually a first class bitch, saying things many of us might think but would never say out loud.. she had no filters whatsoever for her mouth - but she acknowledged that from day one - and she openly admits more of her faults than most of us will ever be brave enough to do
Diane's volatility was what made her the star of the season, along with her impressive strategic abilities - whatever drove them - but her emotional instability was clear as soon as we met her, so there's no doubt the producers were well aware of that from the in-depth pre-show screening process.. but they cast her anyway, in yet another inhumane ploy to get ratings at someone's personal expense.. they also knew what was coming at the end, and they just let it happen.. but the queen of hissy fits trumped them in the end, going out with dignity instead of hysterics, and she touched us all when she did
In spite of everything that came before, I think we felt for her like we did cuz we've all been young and in love.. we know how it hurts when it ends however unrealistic it might have been to believe in it.. but we didn't have to do it in public, on tv.. it's just inconceivable.. her 22-year-old summer fling won't just fade away like summer flings should.. but I think, I hope, that she'll come out of it with something far more valuable than dollars.. and I hope she can turn it around after her tears dry and learn to be more comfortable with who she is - damn skippy, she is a good person at heart
Be well, Diane - you'll be missed more than you know
I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment - the cheaper, the better
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