Big Brother 5 "Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."


hamstersthat dingo's
Hamster Watch

hamster
This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo
Linkage

Daily feed recaps & opinion ratings navigation tool for this often-biased site
HamsterWatch Big Brother 8 here we go again
HamsterWatch Big Brother 7 Hamster all-stars in the house
HamsterWatch Big Brother 6 time to do it all over again
CBS Big Brother 5 the official site
Housecalls live web show with Marcellas, also archived shows
TV Updates feed updates, screencaps, and fun boards - easy to use and functional!
bb5fan's 30 second refresh screencaps if you don't have feeds (great at work!)
Hollyisms and Cowboyisms and Lisa-isms from me, that dingo person
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 5 all the links
Reality TV Links emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Aldav has all of the edgier stuff & the best mini-recaps in town (alternate url)
What happened to Grins? We need our daily dose of BB5 Park - from Jokers
Bonus must-click special: Diane Stalker Case fans line up to help her now - Jokers via Aldav



9/17/04 - Day 78    >> to the future    >> dwell in the past    >> latest

Bro's before ho's to the end

On their own at last, the two boys finally do what they've been wanting to do for weeks.. unfortunately, neither measures up as a man

In a move that shocked almost nobody but Diane, Drew finally proved that he's as scummy as we suspected by breaking the girl's heart on national tv, without giving her a clue it was coming

One thing Drew & Diane have in common is vanity, and obsession about how they're perceived.. even knowing this about Diane, he let her walk the plank to Julie's boudoir and the viewing public in tears, but not before offering to shake hands good-bye
 
Drew shared her bed right up until the end like the whore that he is.. he may be saying that she didn't have real feelings for him in there, but he isn't fooling me: he knows, and he doesn't care.. he chose to let her pain be public, rather than have to deal with her reaction if he'd told her what was coming

Cowboy's not much better: he helped manipulate Drew into this decision, and he's harangued Drew for days how brotherhood is more important than girlfriends.. yet he drones on in the same breath how he'd do anything for the lovely April.. Drew's too stupid to pick up on these things, so he sent Diane packing, and he kept the guy he calls 'motherfucker' behind his back (and not in a happy Marvin kinda way)

Diane's a lot of things, and many of them aren't pleasant, but she didn't deserve this.. she dragged Drew through the game like dead weight, doing all the dirty work and taking all the blame, and all cuz she fell for the guy.. the kind of treatment he gave her tonight is likely the kind of thing that's made her as bitter and desperate to be loved as she is

Diane found out what was coming when Drew said 'I have to break my word to one of you' because he'd flat-out lied to her as recently as yesterday that he hadn't promised Cowboy to take him to finals, but she rallied hope one last time that it was only about 'game' on her way to meet Julie - again, her natural self-defense at work.. But seeing his heartless farewell to her, after having just told him 'I care about you more than anything else in the world, and you know that' was more than she could take.. it was more than most of us could take.. even diehard Diane-haters felt bad for the girl tonight

Yea, it's a game, but this was out of bounds.. Diane held up admirably tonight in an impossible situation, and I'm proud of her for that.. I'm also glad she didn't trip walking the plank in those stilettos

I'm pleased to report that Diane has referred to this HamsterWatch episode as inspiration - thanks Diane! Take care of yourself :)

live show screencaps stolen from Aldav as usual - see his Diane tribute
thanks to Backslash as always
more on Diane in today's postscript



Around dawn this morning, Drew was spotted in the back yard.. (he rarely gets up from sleep).. Cowboy's a light sleeper and followed him out - they had a quick whisper and went back to bed.. Diane's also a light sleeper.. she reported to her headquarters when Drew returned to bed, then ranted at him for waking her "I should just hang myself.. get me some fucking cyanide"

For much of the live show prep 'n primp she was in the eviction corner where Karen & both twins had done time before their last live shows.. after all her agonizing over what to wear yesterday, she looked lovely.. feminine, and almost delicate
     

Cowboy's made his bed and waits for Julie.. Diane is noticeably alone in the twin nominee chairs (as she is during the show itself).. outside Drew shuffles back & forth through his color-coded Bible, looking for an appropriate passage.. Diane opens a beer and offers one to Cowboy
     
Diane: I can't wait to get out of here! and clean my fucking face up
Diane (to Cowboy): Don't drink it if you think it might impair your ability.. it could be your last Big Brother beer.. it could be MY last Big Brother beer

She goes outside to Drew for a few minutes, and back in.. a bit later they close themselves into the gym room, and the fishies take them away
   
Diane (coming back in): I'll be in with fuckface
Diane (to Cowboy): I love to see Drew pray cuz he looks like an angel.. he really does
Diane's last words on the feeds: I gotta get higher pants



She's gone

 

The "I love you's" come at last, along
with a couple FCC fines before the door
latches closed behind her

The final two celebrate with champagne, toasting to "the man up above", and rearranging the photos to their liking
     
Cowboy: And then you'll find out if she really cares for you
Drew: We always said we're gonna keep personal and game separate
Cowboy: Same with me and Nakomis
Drew: Whatever happens, happens

Cowboy says grace over Chinese take-out.. Drew justifies kicking Diane out.. they finally get around to reading the rulebook now that they have to play the game on their own.. Drew is all smiles
     
Cowboy: Dear lord, first off.. (he continues 3 or 4 minutes about the game, the horsemen, they're getting money, etc).. that said, thank you for this food..
....
Cowboy: The way she came in here, saying she's the most beautiful girl in the world..
(Drew laughs)
Cowboy: I hope she wasn't playing you
Drew: I don't know.. she kissed every guy in the house
Drew: I wish I could hear what Diane said in diary room, she could be in there saying 'Drew is such a dumbass'
Drew: I think and wonder what they're gonna ask

They play golf awhile, cheering themselves and their victory thus far.. and they break into a sudden and disturbing phallic horsie romp through the compound
     
Drew (outside): Diane's not here anymore, Sound Guy that has the crush on her
Drew (to Cowboy): She acted like she knew everybody!

Drew says he wishes he had a picture of Vanessa, the girl he left behind..
They tuck in early, side by side, both saying they're happy to be here, to be
guaranteed $50k.. and each says he'd each be happy to come in 2nd to the other
     
Drew (alone): Mom Dad Ben I'm bringing home some cash.. a lot more than I thought I would
....
(Drew says something about 'my girlfriend.. Vanessa')
Cowboy: What did you two have going on?
Drew: We both agreed it'd be a break in here.. I only saw her once every two weeks in the summer..
Cowboy: Did y'all talk about what would happen if you met a girl on the internet? I mean, in here?
Drew: She never even knew what show I was on.. I didn't tell her, I didn't tell anybody.. I told her I might be back in a week.. she said it better not be 'The Bachelor'
....
Drew: I don't know about Diane, I don't know if she was being serious or not.. with her DR's and all..
Drew: I mean I still like Diane, there's no way I could be like 'I hate you' because of the game..
Cowboy: Y'all could work through it with Vanessa, but y'all got some money now
Cowboy: How would she take it, like if you was on a sitcom, and you had to kiss a girl?
(he goes on to say April will be ok with it, unless he kisses Julia Roberts, but he says he would kiss Julia anyway)
....
Drew: Diane is such a devious woman
Cowboy: She's a good girl though
....
(Cowboy asks about Drew's dad's law firm)
Drew: It's just Dad and a secretary
Cowboy: Is the secretary close friends with your family?
Drew: Pretty much, she's been with him for years
Cowboy: She got any kids?
Drew: Umm one.. I think
....
Drew: I still remember looking at my lifesavers.. that lifesaver thing really helped me throughout this game
....
Drew: Dude I swear on my life.. I didn't tell you that cuz I wanted your natural reaction
Cowboy: Screw my natural reaction!
Drew: I was scared that week, cuz Jase was gone.. I knew he was gone, Diane told me
Cowboy: I was hanging on by the hair on my chin-chin-chin



More human than human

She said and did some truly hateful and hurtful things - and I called her on them day after day - but I didn't have to.. nobody's harder on Diane than she is on herself

She works hard to hide her vulnerability.. but when it finally escapes and shows itself is when even her worst critics feel for her, and like her

I loved watching Diane.. she's a walking definition of drama queen, and that always makes for good tv, and good feeds.. I missed a lot of convos and events along the way cuz I'd usually select the Diane channel for guaranteed 'never a dull moment'
     

Game-wise, Diane did most of the driving, along with Karen.. Karen was about defense and setting up a well-constructed set of final moves, and while she was very aware of Diane's own solid defensive skills, she didn't pay enough attention to Diane's brilliance for offensive maneuvers until it was too late
   
I didn't either.. I thought early on that Diane was largely responsible for ousting Holly and Scott simply because they were in her limelight, and maybe that's true.. and when the pivotal Jase eviction came along, with Diane convincing her crush to betray his friend and brother, I thought she was only controlling Drew by his blue balls, cuz she could, to further her own career in the game.. soon afterward it started becoming clear to me that she was doing it all to further his.. everything she did in the game after that was for him

It would have been cool to watch Diane fall in love so deeply, so easily.. if it hadn't been so obvious that it wasn't mutual, that Diane was playing for keeps while Drew was just on a date.. even in bed it was always about his wants and his limits, and she was ok with that too.. most of the times we saw pure joy in Diane, it was inspired in her by Drew.. and the few times we saw her succumb to real pain it was due to him, too
     
It doesn't matter that she was too naive or too dazzled by the stars in her eyes to see what was going on.. even towards the end she was clearly (if subconsciously) testing his feelings for her.. all that matters is that she wanted it so desperately she refused to see that the tests all came back negative

I've said many times that I think Diane has some deep emotional damage, the kind of damage that doesn't happen by itself - it's put there - and it's a testament to her intelligence, resiliency, and finely-tuned survival skills that she was able to take Drew all the way.. and in the end, to the surprise of many, it was the ever-self-centered girl's unselfishness that pushed him to the top: she was certain she could only take 2nd place to him, and she was ok with that.. and then he took it away from her, in a public humiliation most of us won't soon forget
     
Diane fits the glamour role better than she realizes, but it's when she was just being the 22-year-old Kentucky girl that I liked her best.. she was always a sore loser and usually a first class bitch, saying things many of us might think but would never say out loud.. she had no filters whatsoever for her mouth - but she acknowledged that from day one - and she openly admits more of her faults than most of us will ever be brave enough to do

Diane's volatility was what made her the star of the season, along with her impressive strategic abilities - whatever drove them - but her emotional instability was clear as soon as we met her, so there's no doubt the producers were well aware of that from the in-depth pre-show screening process.. but they cast her anyway, in yet another inhumane ploy to get ratings at someone's personal expense.. they also knew what was coming at the end, and they just let it happen.. but the queen of hissy fits trumped them in the end, going out with dignity instead of hysterics, and she touched us all when she did

In spite of everything that came before, I think we felt for her like we did cuz we've all been young and in love.. we know how it hurts when it ends however unrealistic it might have been to believe in it.. but we didn't have to do it in public, on tv.. it's just inconceivable.. her 22-year-old summer fling won't just fade away like summer flings should.. but I think, I hope, that she'll come out of it with something far more valuable than dollars.. and I hope she can turn it around after her tears dry and learn to be more comfortable with who she is - damn skippy, she is a good person at heart

Be well, Diane - you'll be missed more than you know


'sorrow.. what does revolution mean to you? to save todays, like wishing in the wind.. all my beautiful friends have all gone away' - the cult click to play



Cowboy
Gotta root for him by default now, and there's something kind of cool about thinking the everlasting 'pond' could win the game. He's kind of slimy too - spouting about how he'd do anything for the lovely April in the same sentence as he tells Drew 'girlfriends are bad'. Cowboy planted a few of the seeds in Drew's mind that Diane was playing him for the game for his own ticket to finals, and he can lay a guilt trip like nobody's business, but morally and ethically he's light years ahead of Drew. He's going to drive Drew crazy over the next few days, and that'll be sweet. Mr. Emotional could only celebrate tonight and probably came up with the idea for a phallic romp around the house - never once did he pause to think Drew might be feeling a little down for throwing away his girl on tv.. (not that he was, but Cowboy might have considered the possibility, being such a touchy-feely kinda guy.) He had a big hand in Diane's heartbreak tonight, and he may pay for that (I'm not talking jury here - I'm talking April!)



Drew
The ass with no class will never live this one down, fortunately. He turned on the girl who pulled him through the game and he's too thick to see she did it all for him. He was squirrely yesterday and again today about why it took her so long, and three tries, to tape her farewell to him.. first signs of a guilty 'conscious' for the heartless brushoff he gave her tonight. I'll be watching for more (he's talking in his sleep tonight about 'girls' and 'trust' too.) The really pathetic thing about all this is that the things he thinks Diane lied to him about.. she didn't. But she's better off without him, she's better on her worst day than he'll ever be (and that's pretty bad.) I can't even take any joy in having called this one - I've asked several times if he's enough of a chickenshit that he'd make Julie dump Diane for him, never believing he really would.. and sure enough. That wasn't game - that was pure cruelty and cowardice. I hope her face in that hallway and his tapes of tonight's show haunt him forever - she won the game for him (2nd place if there's any cosmic justice) but he bought that one all by himself. After tonight's performance, nearly everyone's rooting for Cowboy.. and that kind of blow to his overblown ego is about the best revenge I can imagine.



Editors
Ups are Diane's all the way, for giving us a moment so real it was heartbreaking to watch. Producers knew it was coming: clues were sprinkled all through the buildup edits, and they hadn't given her a hint either.. but everyone knows network tv has slimy ethics. They tried to get some more bang from the many bucks wasted on the quake machine, to no avail: the segment lasted almost as long as the actual comp, and the judging fuckup that took 15+ minutes to call at the time miraculously turned into a split second for air. Even highly dramatic music couldn't help this one - the most exciting thing watching it was the news-crawl that Barry Bonds hit #700 (go Barry!) Another overpriced DNA apparatus and another long, dull, drawn-out comp we knew the results of already.. and then it's the final comp (The One That Matters) and they've got Drew & Cowboy parked in kiddie cars in the living room - hysterical! Great to see Scott again, and Jase & Holly together, yay! A sweet bonus to find out the two bums in the house doing it all for the horsemen are the only ones still in the club. Julie looked like she wanted to smack Diane like she'd smacked Marcellas for still talking up Drew, and maybe she should have - it would have been kinder than showing Diane that cold farewell that ripped her apart.



xKaren
 
Her motivation was to win the boy but he dumped her on tv for the money. As tough as she is fragile, feisty & bitchy but pure of heart and never dull. Way smarter than she thinks she is - she earned every penny Drew takes home. Star of the show.



xKaren
 
'The Smart One' turned out to have perspective & ethics, and garnered respect for being herself. Overcame ratings-based emotional blackmail and proved that reality tv needs real people.



xKaren
 
First out for playing well, but chameleon strategy is better defense than offense. Elevated the game with empathy, Oscar-caliber acting, and right-on-target rants. Most photogenic by far.



xMarvin
 
Funniest hamster ever. Provided joy, nicknames, dinners, trivia, laughs, insect tributes, golf commentary, and bowling lessons: he's cool & the gang.



xAdria
 
Set off the end-game with 'How long you been dating?' Both pulled off Twingate brilliantly, but A's better as a solo act.



xNatalie
 
They should have kept switching - that house isn't big enough for both of them.



xWill
 
Not quite gay enough for the token gig. I'd like him in real life - but this isn't.



xJase
 
Hamster watching doesn't get better than this guy. Bath buddies forever!



xScott
 
The goon is gone - long live the goon :)



xHolly
 
Unique, fun, annoying, ditzy, and oddly vulnerable. Bless her pointy lil head.



xLori
 
This year's Lisa, but without her luck.



xThe Don
 
Smart or not, he was first out: 'nuff said. Fold your arms and go home.



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