Big Brother 6 "Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."

hamstersthat dingo's
Hamster Watch

hamsterAugust 6, 2006 - Day 35

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Once upon a time..

..there was a Dutchman named John deMol who threw some strangers together in a house, put them on tv, and asked the viewers to decide when each got kicked out.. he called it "Big Brother" after the evil all-seeing society power in George Orwell's novel 1984

The show was such a hit it was exported to 70 countries.. the hamsters, or house occupants, are household names in some of these countries, but in the USA the show didn't make as much money as the TV networks like and it didn't have enough villainry & hatred to appease American audiences, so it was taken over by Shapiro Grodman Productions who added those elements and took the public out of the picture

Six years later here we are, with a fictionalized TV show that's merely inspired by the 20-22/7 feeds we watch

CBS is turning it into make-believe, so I am too.. today's videos follow this junk to confirm or dispute

Free at last

Danielle's kitchen in solitary
Danielle's 24 hours of solitary are cut short by 90 minutes so I miss the grand release, but livewirejoe doesn't - watch the video

They've brought her back from the Hilton or Sheraton or wherever she slept last night a bit early but the hamsters know she's coming out so they gather for a dramatic chant

Diary tipped off Janelle and told her to be in the bathroom just then, making pee-holding Danielle have to run upstairs to let it go.. this is the pivotal event that turns Danielle's competitiveness with Janelle to hatred

Almost immediately, Will works his magic on James and tells him he'll be evicted unanimously - temporarily blowing James' hat clean off his head - and giving us an advance peak at James' script for Julienight.. in spite of this, Will and his temporary cohort Danielle somehow have James almost convinced he's safe

The rest of the day is as predictable as slop: James cozies up to both sides, spreading fibs and trashing the other side as he goes.. Kaysar practices his acting skills as he plays the noble victim about to be evicted on his birthday.. he even convinces Howie & Janelle that he's going but they don't yet know that Kaysar's covered with a Dr. Will magical sequester insurance policy.. they do however rev up their revenge & retribution skills for the battle to come, as the writers and Kaysar hoped & expected

Maggie, April & Ivette - oops! I mean Danielle, Erika & Marcellas whip themselves into a hate frenzy based on The Weak Story, the pee incident, and James telling Danielle that Janelle called her a bitch.. yesterday's Let's Hate Marcellas Next game carries over a bit but Danielle isn't really convinced yet as arithmetic with the veto points gets in the way.. Will likes to work at the last minute anyway, which is tomorrow, and he may be fine with Kaysar going up - he can still flip the rest of them to kick James to the curb before the vote

Reminder: if James uses his Nullify A Vote this week and it's a tie vote (that would fit the script requirements) then Danielle will decide live.. ooohh feel the tension build

Further flurries arise on both sides based on Willboogie's withholding accurate veto comp prize/penalty information and spreading false stories about who won what to the gullible herds


We're Julie-less on Sundays so have to figure things out ourselves and that's difficult, but key phrases like "the Season 6 alliance began to crumble" and "Janelle was putty in [the puppetmaster's] hands" help.. so does Boogie still monopolizing Diary scenes
I have no idea why true-blue James is playing "legion of doom" with Danielle and then being nominated by her.. too bad there wasn't a red room (redrum) scene with five people agreeing to put him up before he knew about it - then maybe I'd get it.. Marg Helgenberger is looking a lot like her mom these days

Editing is everything - we know this - so I'm sure there's a good reason for making the spider web comp last just a bit longer than it did, or for omitting Danielle swearing on her kids, or for reversing her "Erika, give it to me" with Erika's "You got it Dan" - they're relatively minor changes after all - maybe the video malfunctioned and recorded it wrong like it did when Will came off - I never heard Danielle call him an SOB for joking about the No Slop pass in that video but maybe she did.. those mics can malfunction too

My favorite part of tonight's show was when they're all gathered around watching the end of the HOH web comp.. tense music, tense dialog, tense muscles.. but somebody's laundry is spinning around in the dryer behind them, like this whole HOH deal and pricey apparatus is no big thing.. "be right there, soon as this cycle's done"

The deadly serious dirge music accompanying Marcellas forcing his No Slop pass onto George was too tragic for words, but I'm glad Marcellas had the grace to offer it up after Diary told him to, and his Diary speech was touchingly generous - "an opportunity for me to do something good for someone else - hopefully he'll remember that if I'm ever nominated for eviction" - good ol' Marcellas.. I'm sure the entire non-feedster tv audience remembers well that George is on slop forever so there was no need for CBS to remind anyone why a bite of pizza was such a big deal

James will be forever a tv hero for calling that nasty Janelle "an Anna Nicole wannabe" and "a fat piece of shit" (again).. everybody knows America hates her anyway and after all, she did betray him - oops, I mean her alliance

I missed Kaysar as do-it-yourself chiropractor on the feeds, but I'm glad they're letting the tv audience know that those two are a team even if feedsters haven't caught on - Will telling Danielle to stop and let Kaysar do it again pretty much confirmed that, as did Kaysar's non-poker face at the nominations
Don't forget to give your 99 cents to CBS for the privilege of giving them 99 more cents.. everybody knows Ivette cried when Cappy was evicted

Thank you CBS for another great hour of fictionalized, sensationalist crap.. by the way, you need a disclaimer on the feeds ad featuring "Love you all, America" - something like "Caution: Paying customers will hear the opposite on the feeds"

Back to our story

James isn't even hiding his habit anymore.. he goes right for a hit of nitrous oxide when he's supposed to be helping George get dinner supplies

Big Brother could have saved some money on all the Reddi-Wip James has wasted this year to feed his nitrous habit

I missed and/or didn't mention that Boogie helped clean up Will & Janelle's kitchen shower mess last night with Marcellas' face cloth but yep, he did.. Danielle plays peekaboo (badly).. Erika finally starves to death (see today's linkage)

Boogie tries to remember his instructions.. James does remember Danielle saying "don't ever put up anyone you don't want to see go out the door" as he counts three other BB6ers to fill the two noms & a veto spots.. George hangs out, like he does
George acts like he doesn't know what's going because he doesn't: all the others have worked with/for these producers before.. the staff didn't know if George could be bought off like the others so his Diaries aren't storyline meetings and script touch-ups like everyone else's - that's why they're so much faster.. he's playing it all as it unfolds, like we are

A scorpion gets loose in the house and battles with plastic ants.. Danielle gets out of jail to discover sloppers now get candy & gum.. she taps out a cool beans message to the staff in thanks

She re-reads the letter she typed to herself "from" her mom and finds a typo she missed, oops.. later she scares Kaysar with her new look so much that he turns to obsessively neat towel rolling til his hair grows in a little more and can be twisted again

Howie asks if he can have the black undies that have been there for a couple weeks.. everyone says sure so you know Howie's gonna be accused of stealing Erika's or Dani's in a couple days.. James comes clean and spills everything to Kaysar & Janelle - he says he wants to be Best Friends Forever again
Erika revives once more and wonders if she's light enough to fly yet

A freak storm covers the yard in grapes.. James & Marcellas ponder new career options (since this one obviously isn't gonna work out).. James figures pool boy would be easy with short hours, and Marcellas decides he'll audition for a renaissance painting

James offers to make dinner since he's on the block/in suck-up mode but his buzz wears off and he goes back for more Reddi-Wip instead, so George does the honors.. he doesn't cut his finger but he does nibble like he never did on slop - he's gonna put his lost weight back on before the next Thursday's costume is made
He makes chicken (what else?).. it's frothy

Most of the day is eerily familiar to anyone who was around last year: haters upstairs hating on the haters downstairs hating on the haters upstairs.. rewind.. repeat

Do it yourself day

Howie's found undies reminded me of a similar incident.. this house is seriously missing its Cowboy

If the above fairy tale doesn't suffice, you can put the pieces together from the daily videos

Thanks for all the YouTube views by the way.. I am absolutely floored by the numbers.. Hamsterwatch is 9th most viewed YouTube channel today, 22nd this week, and 16th most subscribed channel this month.. that's kinda scary actually

It doesn't pay any bills or do me any good that I know of, but it's pretty cool just the same so thanks for visiting both here & there

Danielle talks about solitary She didn't eat or drink or use the porta potty - by choice
Will advises James for live show Sounds like James is going home
James & Janelle talk about Danielle Will it be Marcellas or Kaysar?
Danielle/Marcellas/Erika about HOH comp, and the veto slop Timely discussion - just after the show aired in the east
Danielle/Marcellas/Erika on pre-season alliances Interesting stuff (sounds like Marcellas wasn't really with the program though)
Danielle & Kaysar about putting him up Part 1 - sounds to me like he's acting
Danielle & Kaysar about putting him up Part 2 - still acting
Danielle & Kaysar about putting him up Part 3 - Howie & Janelle join
BB6 meets after talking with Danielle All four of them (maybe if that actorin' thing don't work out he can be a doctor)
Kaysar advises Janelle on romance, Will, and the BB storyline They keep saying that word - not me!
James defines "rationalizing" to Danielle ..with a very long demonstration
James says "fuck America" meaning us, the viewers.. he remembers April though, and withdraws it soon as he says it

Howie sleeps like the dead

I had to tack this one on

He had a terrible time going to sleep - stomping around & cussing because nobody left him any blankets, waking the others with his farting, then lying there staring into space for the longest time

I'm glad he finally got some rest


Today's must-click specials:
Tribute to Erika by BB's number one fan Attw x
Aldav sends greetings from Nigeria

Daily linkage just highlights unique sites now - check the new links page for more

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Screencaps refresh site is back from bbfan
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Househappenings in-depth Big Brother analysis by IA aka It's Aawwn
Photochops by C=Venus - also try Destroy a Hamster by Johnbb
Big Brother Keyhole peruse various BB sites in the same window, feeds too

Reality TV Links - Big Brother 7 emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 7 All Stars all the links
Patrick's Place One-man BB show, 20+ streaming cams including his car
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CBS Big Brother 7 the official site, plus Housecalls live weekdays 10am BB/1pm ET
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Special Where Are They Now? edition. Arrows signify whether their lives have improved since the summer of 2006.


They spun off BB into a how-to home decor show specializing in on-the-fly room do-overs that cater to your personality (or lack of). It debuted on Saturday mornings and was an instant hit, picking up both the Barbie crowd and their parents, and moved to the CBS primetime lineup shortly after. 'Big Baby House' is now consistently one of the top five shows (better than BB ever did) and is hosted by Julie C. Moonves. Rumors say she's going to host the spinoff's spinoff next fall which is tentatively called 'Big Baby House Has a Baby' but they're unconfirmed and unlikely: Ms. Moonves is already hosting nine shows on CBS including the anchor spot on the evening news recently vacated by Katie Couric after her mysterious pipe-to-the-knee accident.

After his dreams of winning BB7 were dashed he spent the next couple of years trying alternate paths to a show biz career to no avail. Eventually he returned to his restaurant partnership but discovered the locks had been changed. He wandered around SoCal for six months after that looking for some dignity and a place to do his laundry before landing on Britney Spears' doorstep, coincidentally the same day she'd kicked K-Fed out of her basement. She & B-Mal have lived a happy life ever since, and are expecting their 8th child in the spring.

Nobody knows what became of her after BB7. Whenever she's approached and asked about 'Big Brother' she screams 'That's not me! Dani BB3 isn't here! Neither is Dani BB7! I never heard of either of them - why won't you people leave me alone and give me some peace?! And redemption!'

The reality grapevine claims she's successful doing something but nobody knows what it is. Whenever she's approached she throws her hands up and screams 'Why won't you paparazzi leave me alone? I just want to live an ordinary life in my bikini!' Sadly, she's never been approached by paparazzi as they've never heard of her. She continues her delusion though, and continues to befuddle out-of-towners in need of directions.

George was deluged with show biz offers since leaving BB7 and finally accepted one that many laughed about at the time, but 'Oatmeal Slop for Health' has become the top syndicated cooking show of all time. As a result, George was hired by Quaker Oats Company to replace the pilgrim advertising icon they used for decades in a seven-figure deal, and he co-founded a revolutionary oat-based flour that topped traditional flour sales last year. George still wears his chicken suit twice a year, drawing such huge crowds that Quaker, Foster Farms and KFC are said to be considering a merger since their fierce three-way bidding war for George's services ended in a standoff.

These days Howie's an aspiring meteorologist who acts as a light saber salesman and spokesman in his spare time. He'll appear in the next edition of the Guinness Book of Records, topping the Most Appearances on TV Reality Shows category with 84 shows under his belt. He's currently taping 7 more including the first one starring and named for him: 'Howie's Your Boobies' will showcase the reactions of ordinary women on a busy street when Howie approaches them and talks about their boobies. Industry sources predict it will be a hit.

After BB7 ended, James attempted to remain friends with his fellow hamsters and was quoted as saying they didn't respond to his calls or emails due to a conspiracy against him. He's still with the lovely Sarah who now holds two jobs to help pay off the $500k he spent but never won. She says they plan to get married someday, and adds that she hopes he can complete a rehab program to kick his nitrous oxide habit first. James recently filed his 17th lawsuit against CBS and Shapiro Grodner Productions, claiming they rigged both seasons against him. He works for a local used car lot two days a week while awaiting trial, just as he did before filings #1 thru 16 were dismissed by the courts as frivolous lawsuits.

Janelle is the most highly sought-after hamster of all time but she's turned down all television and movie offers to date. Half of her BB6 and BB7 co-stars claim she's just holding out for the right offer, but her quiet, secluded and successful non-show biz life indicates otherwise. Contrary to Erika, paparazzi do try to follow Janelle but this is the only known photo taken of her in public for several years. Rumors continue to swirl about her & Will Kirby but they remain unconfirmed.

Since guest-hosting 'Big Baby House' with Julie C. Moonves (where he was introduced as 'the most popular hamster ever') Kaysar has been successful in a number of arenas. His accomplishments include several temporary soap opera roles, public speaking engagements on 'The Game and The Strategy', and dry cleaning. He recently published his first novel entitled 'Here's the Thing' which was an instant best-seller even though its reviews were lukewarm across the board. He hasn't allowed his photo to be taken since leaving the BB7 house.

Last seen in a white bathrobe on Hollywood Boulevard, asking tourists for change and muttering curses interspersed with the names Amy, Danielle, Janelle, Danielle and Gretchen.

Dr. Will
After winning 'Big Brother' for a second time, Dr. Kirby went on to win the Nobel Prize for his patented, revolutionary reputation removal procedure, and his last three side business have each had successful IPOs. A sideline partnership with Chicken George went fowl foul when it was discovered Dr. Will didn't know the difference between butter & margarine, despite his Cordon Bleu-level garlic pressing technique. Rumors that he'll star on 'The Bachelor XXII' are unconfirmed, as are stories connecting him to his buxom blonde co-star Janelle Pierzina, now a recluse living somewhere in the Midwest. Dr. Will responds to queries about both rumors with the same press bio of six-time 'For Love or Money' winner Erin Brodie and a flyer for SoniClear. Kirby claims he has no hard feelings about Ms. Brodie's latest 'For Love or Money' cycle in which she convinced two of his former co-hamsters (Mike 'Boogie' Malin and Howie Gordon) to fall in love with her, and says he & Ms. Brodie have a doggie.


Sadly, she didn't stand a chance this year. She came in defeated & involved in a feud, and lost all her partners. Mrs. Smith didn't give us the fireworks she's capable of but she's always an all-star in my book and I wish her well.


His alliances and behavior were all over the map this time and both got him kicked out. He went out the back door again but it wasn't intentional this time. So long, mirror-face.


Not the most charismatic and she didn't start playing in time, but each side kicked her out so the other couldn't have her. Kudos to her for having the guts to return.


She worked out and hid in a vase but the potential for catfights & dramatics left with her. She didn't live up to her skanky rep: good for her, bad for us.

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This site isn't necessarily about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why, which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! Thanks for encouraging my behavior.. that dingo

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