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I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment.. the cheaper, the better    

April 3, 2008 - Day 56 (or 57)

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>> Adam is Head of Household - Sharon & Sheila are nominated <<

Escape to Goo Mountain

A little glimpse of the food comp leaked through the trivia

They hauled out the giant ramp used in past food comps again.. this time they covered it with rivers of goo

I don't know what the premise was but it looked like they were working for food groups, and they were busily squooshing goo into buckets, or something like that

Natalie went sliding down through the goo at one point, which looked pretty funny

Hamsterwatchers can rejoice that they won the grill: that means BBQ Smackdown '08 Part I can finally begin.. it sounds like they also got meat & fish, breads & pasta, wine, and snacks, but no beer or fruits & veg for the week

Food comps will probably be coming to an end soon: it's possible Sharon suffered all week for nothing, and wasted her slop pass

Boo the hell hoo

James went to work on Adam, saying he'd never done anything to him, he's alone in the house, he doesn't want to play the game with vengeance, etc

Adam enjoyed his sandwich and nodded occasionally before heading up to HOH.. everyone but Sharon joined him later to bitch about James and his anti-nom tactics

James then pleaded with Adam upstairs some more, and said if he isn't nom'd and wins the veto, he wouldn't use it.. he also said he wouldn't go after Adam next week because he wants a relationship with him.. Natalie joined and told James his actions have made him untrustworthy

Ryan joined and told James "You're a fucking hypocrite, you're a fucking liar" - cut to flames.. James didn't have much response for either of them, and kept going back to Adam saying he hadn't screwed him over.. after Ryan left, Natalie said they're all against James because he's mean to everyone.. James then broke down and sobbed about everyone being against him and that he's a nice person
Natalie was called to Diary (timing?) and Adam told James okay, he won't put him up if he won't use the veto, and if the others want James out, they'll have to get him out themselves - yep, you read that right - Adam got emotional too, and James went back to "It's just a game" as they calmed down.. it looks like the "hard salami" won't get "sliced real thin" after all, and it's all truly mind-boggling

I missed it, but apparently last night Ryan said Diary wanted him to work with James.. Ryan got cut off while cussing at him today and disappeared from the room, and then Adam relented a few minutes later and agreed not to nominate James.. if Diary is fiddling this again, it's the kind of thing that loses audiences and they don't have much of an audience left to lose.. why not just hire actors and write a story in a reality tv setting? Maybe Allison Grodner has a thing for guys with "unusual" tattoos

On the bright side, now we get to see Sheila on the block - that'll be especially fun, since James isn't

Another Aldav link tonight as he's outdone himself again with all this - and no, he's not paying me for the recent flurry of links (though he could).. and congratulations to TD/Mooman for having accurately predicted these unpredictable noms in his April 2 installment of BB9 Park


In even better news, the grill returned

The metal monster was undefeated for four years.. BB5 Cowboy first faced it and broke even, although Nakomis fell, and it's been a machine of mayhem ever since, mocking BB6 Howie and BB8 Zach among others, and in its most spectacular match, it turned the tables and fried BB6 Ivette, nearly destroying her

BB8 Dick lost his first round but he came back to annihilate the stainless steel superstar by pulverizing it into little pieces and cleaning all the rage off of each one, along with the charcoal dust.. I thought its spirit was broken after that: I didn't think a previously undefeated champ could come back after a humiliating loss like that, but I was wrong

Several contenders stepped up hoping for a chance to be the first of the '08 twin seasons to face the legend.. Ryan got over his "feeling slightly betrayed" by Adam for a minute when James agreed to let 30-minute bygones be gone, and he let Ryan have the first crack.. but as usual, Natalie had to be the one to "man up", and she took over the actual grilling
Within the first few minutes of beginning the first grilled meal of the season, the BBQ wasted no time against its most potentially formidable opponent, Ryan.. he barely tapped the little shelf on the side and it fell off, sending steaks, chickens and BBQ sauce plummeting to the ground

2008 BBQ Smackdown scorecard - Round 1, The Teaser: BBQ ½, Ryan 0
Round 1 is dedicated to Lam, with invaluable assistance from SmellyCatxx

Daily videos

Quick peek at the food comp with Natalie slide; James pleads with Adam, a series in four parts including Natalie, Ryan, tears, and Adam gives in sections; and Adam repents & says Diary wouldn't let him out before noms are posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page

Daily ratings - Special deluxe combo edition:
It's a shocker, plus metal dedications

Ratings are based on entertainment and/or shock value

Was I pleased by another James save? No, not personally - but I can live with it. It did stir the house up good and that's always a plus. But whether structuring the plan or merely 'helping it along' in Diary in the blatant way they did this time is what did me in. Call me naive, say I never learn my lesson, but I'd been under the impression that this was a fairly clean season in that regard - not counting what lands on CBS of course, which is largely irrelevant. But repeated convos of the hamsters talking about Diary's 'suggestions' combined with them keeping Adam in there before noms, 'drilling' the James plan into him, and telling him 'It's best for you' have sickened me today with not-fond memories of the BB7 and 8 'tampering'. Call it conspiracy theories, paranoia, the game isn't going how I like, etc etc - I don't care. You know something's up when tirades are underway, and one of the tiraders is flamed away and the other is called to Diary in mid-rant. One question is why? Nobody's watching anyway: just let it play out on its own. The other question, the $500,000 one, is why are they pushing James so hard? He's brought more baggage & scandals to this season than any of the others (which is saying something), and more than every hamster before him combined.

This one goes out personally from me to Ms. Grodner.. purists can swap out brothers for sisters:
Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you
Don't fuck with me, and I won't fuck with you
We can be brothers and wear our different colors too

- Love/Hate, 'Don't Fuck With Me'

Won: Motorcycle
Paired with Sheila

Ups for his unintentional stir-it-up factor, and because I don't have a ? graphic made up for the spot. EASY Line of the Day Award for this one, two hours after not nominating James: 'Yeah, I fucked up.. I did the wrong thing I think.' Did James get the idea to cry his way past Adam from Joshuah, or was that whole thing a test run for today? And if so, did Diary come up with that too?

For what I've done I start again
And whatever pain may come, today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done
I face myself to cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

- Linkin Park, 'What I've Done'

Paired with Chelsia

Ups for Thursday waterworks that are becoming habit for him now, and for helping out Webster's: now when you look up 'con man' in the dictionary, you get a picture of him. Between the crying and the begging to be liked, he's turning into a regular Amber lately.

The man in the dark will bring another attack
Your momma told you that you're not supposed to talk to strangers
Look in the mirror, tell me do you think your life's in danger here?
No more tears
No more tears
So now that it's over can't we just say good-bye?
I'd like to move an and make the most of the night

- Ozzy Osbourne, 'No More Tears'

Paired with Matt

Everything she said about James she also said to his face, and when she got to he's been mean to everyone is when the floodgates opened. And then she got called to Diary, leaving crying James with worked-up Adam.. coincidence?

She's tryin' to have a good time
Even though these are the bad times
She's tryin' to get in - she wants out
Doing some time for small crimes to herself
She is a sunbeam shining
Think it's gonna rain
Sure, she's feeling pain
They think she's insane
But she's an angel

- Love/Hate, 'She's an Angel'

Won: $10,000
Jen's boyfriend Paired with Allison

He set a new record for f-word use today and understandably so, between Diary suggesting last night that he team up with James and Adam's little blunder today, Ryan said he was 'feeling slightly betrayed' - is that something like being a little pregnant? He earned ups in my book by calling the Diary folks 'c-suckers' for their manipulation of the situation, and also for diving right in and getting the new BBQ Smackdown season underway.

Why are you doing this to me?
Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be?
Why am I seething with this animosity?
I think you owe me a great big apology
Terrible lie

-Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails, 'Terrible Lie'

Paired with Jacob (her ex)  Joshuah

She reminded some of them tonight that she's nominated and has been for a long time - I don't know why she did that. Nobody's seemed to notice before now, and until she pointed out her perma-pawn status, they hadn't noticed this time either. She also found a slug at the hot tub tonight, and adopted it as her new special 'furrr-iend'.

I've seen the needle and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's like a setting sun
Oh, the damage done

- Neil Young, 'Needle and the Damage Done'

Paired with Adam

I wish somebody would tell her that everyone wants to take her to finals and that she's got $50k in the bag.. then she might stop flipping out every few minutes.

Nothing left to do
Too many things were said
To ever make it feel
Like yesterday did
Girl, don't go away mad
Girl, just go away

- Motley Crüe, 'Don't Go Away Mad'

Paired with Neil  Sharon

He put on costumes and breakfast shows, and did hot tub monologues, praying & sobbing aloud. He exploded viciously on Amanda & Allison, and about Sheila & Natalie (usually focused on genitalia), but he left the guys alone except James, who he c-blocked & puppy-dogged. He had lots of schemes to save himself but used them up early, and his huge drama potential fell short when we needed it most. He had the only Diary restraining order I know of: 5 feet away from Allison.

Won: $21,000 Vegas trip
Paired with James

Sometimes a spitfire who gave us good fights & fireworks but she laid around with James way too much, which was her undoing and ours. She'll be remembered for feedmasters' attempts to protect her, strip/lap dance/makeout night, having sex, raunchy stories, a colorful vocabulary, getting smashed, smashing everyone's Easter eggs, and for going out with the nasty speeches they all threaten but rarely follow through with.

Paired with Natalie

America's Playa came on strong, prepared to showmance his way through all the girls and into the money. That didn't work out but he was fun to have around and he usually kept things light amid the chaos. He brought BJs to the feeds and made Bibles fun in there. Despite the fact that he's a pig, he has some good qualities too and he kinda grows on you.

Paired with Ryan

She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.

Revive-a-Hamster winner & loser
Paired with Amanda

He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.

Paired with Alex

She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.

Won: $5,000
Ryan's girlfriend/Paired with Parker

She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?

Won: $5,000
Paired with Jen

He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.

Paired with Joshuah

He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons, and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.

Paired with Sharon (his ex)

Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!

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Veto comp is Friday
Major chance of fights, and anything could happen with Sheila

Sunday, April 6 at 8pm: nominations and assorted dramas

Wednesday's eviction show was third for the hour with a 4.0 rating and 6 share, behind 'The Moment of Truth' on Fox with 6.4/11 and 'Deal or No Deal' on NBC with 6.0/11. For perspective, the following hour 'American Idol' on Fox had a 14.6 rating and 22 share.
Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

Adam is Head of Household
Sharon & Sheila are nominated

Nobody's on slop

Finale is April 29 but 'subject to change'

First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there

Read about the recent New York open casting call - big ups to Babydoll for sharing, and best wishes for getting on BB 10!

Are you completely insane? If so, apply to be on Big Brother 10 this summer. Read the eligibility requirements, particularly #9 about excellent mental health, apply before April 25, and/or attend a casting call. For better chances, get signed by one of the actormodel agencies they use (try this one - she cast Jen & Ryan) and/or check Craigslist in late May/early June. In any case, do not tell them you're a feedster, avid fan, or anything more than a casual viewer of BB on CBS.

If you'd like to see REAL Big Brother this summer like all other countries do it, where we decide evictions and select a winner from a diverse cast, write to your local CBS station and demand it! They'll get the word to those that need to hear it.

Round 1, The Teaser: BBQ ½, Ryan 0

Sex: 7x (3 Jen/Ryan; 4 James/Chelsia)
Oral: 4x (all Natalie/Matt)
Sex tallies are minumums, based on overwhelming circumstantial evidence

Self-service: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
  (Jen/Ryan, James/Chelsia,
  Alex/Sharon, Matt/Sharon)
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
 (Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Rodent bites: 1 (Ryan)
OB Incidents: 1 (Ryan/Adam)
Returned evictees: 3
 (Sharon, Ryan, James)
Revive-a-Hamster vote hoaxes: 1
Major fights: too many to count
Chelsia abortion/baby mentions after Diary said one more and she's out: 2

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