April 1, 2008 - Day 54 (or 55)
>> Natalie is Head of Household - Joshuah & Sharon are nominated <<
In a desperate attempt to build interest in Big Brother 9, the producers brought in for the day the hamsters from their most popular season, Big Brother 6
Janelle compared notes with Natalie about being brilliant & ditzy simultaneously, and they debated the pros & cons of wearing bikinis for bubble baths.. Janelle winked when she told Natalie she'd win the Morph-o-Matic veto, and that she shouldn't worry about finishing third because she wouldn't have to hang out in sequester for long, and it didn't mean she wouldn't be the season's Most Memorable Hamster
She made some nachos and apple crisp but Adam & Natalie had gone off to plot & scheme, so she ate them herself.. then she went to Diary and asked "Who are these people, and can I go now?"
BB6 James wore a veto necklace (as he always does) and high-fived the current James, congratulating him for keeping the name associated with the symbol.. he also warned him to beware of dollies.. Kaysar pulled aside James, Sharon and Ryan to ask for tips about how to stay alive after an eviction/revival cycle.. April spent most of the day smoking outside, not sharing her cigs, and talking to the photo wall.. she was heard whispering to Allison's pic something about "I didn't cayuurrr either".. later she disappeared crying into the HOH bathroom, where she remains
Beau yelled at Joshuah about acting too gay while not being gay enough.. after comparing junk with James (and approving), he enlisted Howie's help to demonstrate flirting tips to get closer to James.. Howie bonded with Adam over crude jokes and they compared no-fail pickup lines.. Howie also told Adam he needs to step it up with Sheila, and suggested he fart more and find out her doggie's name
Jennifer sat around pouting most of the day, whining about still being called J-Blow over a mere story, while Natalie was getting away clean after actually doing it.. Sarah & Ivette gave instructions for loads of activities, but the current group adopted deer-in-headlights looks when Ivette began shouting at them, and they all went back to their comatose/laying around positions
The BEEBIES stormed out after learning the fishies had been the stars of their seasons while they'd only had occasional and random flashes on live shows.. they bit Sharon on their way out for screeching at them for 56 days (or 55), and muttered something about firing their agents
Rachel sent a nice letter of apology on flowered note paper that said she couldn't make it as she's still in hiding.. Maggie & Eric/Cappy didn't show up - apparently they didn't get invitations.. Michael & Ashlea had a nice lunch with Neil & Jacob at the studio commissary.. all four discussed the fleeting fame of reality shows and worked up plans to collect on the remainder of their 15 minutes of fame promised and still due to them.. they all regretted ordering the CBS tuna melt
See Aldav/DogDave for more
Back to our story
Okay, most joking aside.. the camera came out, along with another costume for Joshuah.. he's been busy swearing on Natalie's Bible, trashing Sheila and following her around like a gnat.. he may win the Line of the Day award for "[Sheila]'s trying to turn everyone against me, and I don't think that's fair to me"
In another Superpass homepage WTF, today's issue says "Will Nat stick with Josh's deal?" I wonder which of Josh's 1,000 deals (and counting) they're referring to
Natalie painted a birthday card on paper towels for Matt with pics of all of them, and they all signed it.. when the camera came out, she dropped it on her card, but I think both survived
In the Life Imitates Art Snark category, one of the BEEBIES acted eerily similar to the fiction above by shunning its squeaky caretakers and refusing to pose with them.. Joshuah began packing for the first time.. my feeds are still messed up more often than not so I can't be sure, but maybe a giant tractor beam really did zoom into the habitat to suck them all away
Deal me out
They're waffling so much and making so many deals, it's making my head spin.. the best show in town anymore is watching over Natalie's shoulder as she creates her magic out of paper towels
Joshuah cycled through options for what he called his "goodbye outfit": he'll probably settle for the dark shirt but the kicky white skirt was cute too.. Sharon did not follow suit - at least I don't think this is her Meeting Julie look
James wore a towel into the hot tub and made campaign faces.. Sheila finally took out the TP trash
Natalie's salon is open for business
She'll paint anything
She started by painting the pink out of James' hair, which Adam then painted back in
Then she went to work on Sharon.. I'm not saying there's any sabotage going on here or anything - maybe the final version will come out okay
Adam's gonna get cut for this when he goes back to Jersey (© Supes414)
Fun with RealPlayer III
Sorry about this
My feeds are doing crazy stuff lately.. this one's the culmination of a scary Sheila series of (not so) happy accidents as a result
The others are posted in the forum
On a happier note, Natalie did a self-portrait and tucked it in with her group card for Matt.. she's building up quite a paper towel portfolio in there
No feeds yet? Note the $5 discount for new subscribers on the sidebar, and act fast: it expires tomorrow.. (and nope, this one is not an April Fool's gag)
Joshuah Bible-swears at Natalie is posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page
Daily ratings - April's fools edition
Ratings are based on entertainment value.. and on a side note, did you know the word "gullible" is not in the dictionary?
Tuesday's show was pre-empted so CBS could air another episode of 'The James Zinkand Show' instead. On this episode, the young star with the bow tie got a peptalk from a little old lady, screamed at her in his undies and lost his voice, cried about having been 'true' to everyone with references to his absent father figure, and repeated the series catchphrase 'The whole house is against me' 32 times, the required amount for a catchphrase in a primetime network tv show. Also in this episode James somehow took the spotlight off his co-star Joshuah (who plays the role of The Drama Queen) by outdancing him (badly), outcrying him, outwhining him, and outgloating him. Through an unexplained malfunction at the network level, series extras Adam, Ryan and Sharon each managed to make a brief appearance along with a toilet, yet somehow they omitted Mr. Zinkand's toenail chewing, earwax eating, and daily masturbation rituals. Heads will roll for these errors. Programming note: the BEEBIES segment that was scheduled to appear on this episode was scrapped in favor of another overlong math quiz. It may or may not appear on a future episode.
Paired with Sheila
I've come to expect great things from him lately and now with all this hoopla about votes and deals and the like, he isn't really delivering to his full potential. He did show that maybe he won't do the best on future observation-based comps when he asked Ryan 'What the hell is that tattoo on your arm?' - on Day 56! (or 55). I swear they slowed his voice down for the veto comp hosting on tonight's show, and there was at least one obvious voiceover do-over.
Paired with Chelsia
He got a full hour on CBS tonight: I'm not giving him anymore space today.
Paired with Neil Sharon
The costumes were kinda fun, yelling at Sheila was kinda fun, the Bible swearing was kinda fun, the solo sobbing was kinda fun.. but let's face it: it's all reruns. For what was likely his last day and night in the habitat, he failed to live up to his hype, in a very big way.
Paired with Matt
HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD
She's juggling six of them individually, twice as many alliances and triple that many deals, and while it's still a bit soon to know for sure, she might come out clean on all counts. All this, and she still has time to do two hair makeovers, a half dozen works of art (aka future eBay goldmines), and a nekkid bubble bath, plus she's still always cheerful. She's a keeper, and she puts the rest of them to shame.
Jen's boyfriend Paired with Allison
See Adam, with the addition that Ryan will be the one to watch tomorrow night when they get to eat again. He'll probably pack away enough to give him raging stomach cramps for the rest of the night.
Paired with Jacob (her ex) Joshuah
She just needs to go away, but it probably won't happen yet.. darn it. We can hope for a miracle though - at least those of us who don't have an up-to-date flowchart to follow all the wheeling & dealing going on.
Paired with Adam
Another day, another fight or three for Sheila followed by apologetic hugs followed by excessive smack talking. I felt kinda bad when her RealPlayer accident caps came out so scary. They weren't her fault or mine.. well, I guess I didn't need to post them.
Won: $21,000 Vegas trip
Paired with James
Sometimes a spitfire who gave us good fights & fireworks but she laid around with James way too much, which was her undoing and ours. She'll be remembered for feedmasters' attempts to protect her, strip/lap dance/makeout night, having sex, raunchy stories, a colorful vocabulary, getting smashed, smashing everyone's Easter eggs, and for going out with the nasty speeches they all threaten but rarely follow through with.
Paired with Natalie
America's Playa came on strong, prepared to showmance his way through all the girls and into the money. That didn't work out but he was fun to have around and he usually kept things light amid the chaos. He brought BJs to the feeds and made Bibles fun in there. Despite the fact that he's a pig, he has some good qualities too and he kinda grows on you.
Paired with Ryan
She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.
Revive-a-Hamster winner & loser
Paired with Amanda
He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.
Paired with Alex
She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.
Ryan's girlfriend/Paired with Parker
She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?
Paired with Jen
He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.
Paired with Joshuah
He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.
Paired with Sharon (his ex)
Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!
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Continued waffling with a very good chance of fights
Wednesday, April 2 at 8pm: live eviction, HOH comp, assorted dramas, BEEBIES pranks?
Westies can watch the air show live when it's on in the East at www.watch.videobrother.com or www.liveeastcoastfeed.org
Tuesday's show was fourth with a 4.1 rating and 6 share, behind 'Dancing with the Stars' on ABC with 10.9/17, 'Hell's Kitchen' with 7.5/11, and 'The Biggest Loser' on NBC with 5.8/9.
Sex: 7x (3 Jen/Ryan; 4 James/Chelsia)
Oral: 4x (all Natalie/Matt)
Sex tallies are minumums, based on overwhelming circumstantial evidence
Self-service: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
(Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Rodent bites: 1 (Ryan)
OB Incidents: 1 (Ryan/Adam)
Returned evictees: 3
(Sharon, Ryan, James)
Revive-a-Hamster vote hoaxes: 1
Major fights: too many to count
Chelsia abortion/baby mentions after Diary said one more and she's out: 2
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Natalie is Head of Household
Joshuah & Sharon are nominated
Everyone's on slop except Adam and Natalie
Finale is April 29 but 'subject to change'
First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there
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BB9 adult/explicit links
CBS Big Brother 9 the official site
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Attw x's houseguest tributes all seasons fun & reference by BB's number one fan
BuddyTV - Big Brother 9 TV supersite with news, articles, discussions
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Reality TV Links - Big Brother 9 emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
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This site isn't necessarily thorough: it's what I catch and/or what interests me. It also isn't necessarily about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why, which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! Thanks for encouraging my behavior.