Big Brother 9 that dingo's
I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment.. the cheaper, the better    

March 29, 2008 - Day 51 (or 52)

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>> Natalie is Head of Household - James & Joshuah are nominated - James holds veto <<

March fools

Pranks continue, perpetrated by Big Brother this time.. Sheila's shower water shut off just as she got shampoo'd up.. after last night's shenanigans, she suspected one of the guys and with good reason.. though she still thinks Joshuah was behind the OB Incident

Joshuah suggested BB's doing this new stuff ahead of time to prepare an April Fool's edit for Tuesday's show and the flames cut him off, so he might be on to something

Sheila's bad, no-good, horrible, rotten day continued as James antiqued her with flour (© "Jackass").. she was definitely not pleased, but the peanut gallery went wild

Next, Adam & James stole her mattress, and hid it on top of Adam's - it's a perfect fit

Pranks & punks continue

If the stuff the guys are getting up to isn't enough to worry about, Big Brother's still at it too

A flashlit mask appeared in the mirror as Joshuah was checking himself out after his shower, similar to the hamsters that appeared in the All-Stars' mirrors.. Joshuah just about had a heart attack.. then they did it to him again in the kitchen.. Natalie had seen one earlier but nobody believed her

BB locked them out for awhile and got busy around the kitchen: Sheila got stopped-up faucet sprayed again but didn't notice the rat in the fridge, and neither did Adam.. you guessed it: Joshuah found it.. he's definitely not having fun anymore.. and then he screamed once again
Joshuah: Aaauuuggghhh!!
Natalie: Joshuah, what is it now?
Joshuah: The guinea pigs got upset and startled me

The BEEBIES showed up on their plasma without explanation.. later, Natalie was called to Diary from yet another bubble bath (after carefully arranging her bubbles).. apparently BB called off their pranks, having gotten enough footage for a segment - it sounds like they blamed it all on the BEEBIES

It's not over yet

Big Brother may be finished but the guys aren't

They raided the pantry and decorated Sheila's room, while she was upstairs obsessing about James again, with Natalie & Sharon.. she'd been up there for hours

They did a world class job in a very short time.. and she still doesn't know her mattress is gone

Adam, James & Ryan spun the web, and Joshuah added an extra touch: TP confetti

"You look like a princess"

So said Adam, when Sheila sunk into her sunken bed amid TP remnants

I have to hand it to her: she was a pretty good sport again and didn't even run off to Diary about her new room decorations

She only tore down enough to get to her bed, saying they'd have to clean it up.. Adam turned the room into a Blue Man Group show.. Sharon & Natalie came in to see.. Sheila thinks they broke her bed by standing on it to string up the TP - she still doesn't realize the top mattress is gone
Adam & Ryan said they'll take the other mattress tomorrow.. if they stack it on Ryan's bed, theirs will be the same height again - Sheila will never find them

After Sheila went to bed the guys worked on her good morning project, which included olive oil hand prints all over the fridge she's always cleaning, and a few handfuls of powdered sugar and flour here & there.. Natalie told them "shoes on the counter drive her MAD" so they lined up a bunch of those
James & Joshuah banged pots & pans at her a couple hours later, but she didn't react much.. she did get up though and found the shoes: just as Natalie predicted, she wasn't pleased

They had a ton of game talk today too, but I'm not up to figuring out who Natalie's really with or what she's up to.. it's all speculation at this point but she's being very impressive with making everyone think she's with them, and she seems to be dotting all her i's and crossing all her t's as she goes

Daily videos

All the pranks, and you can keep them after downloading: Sheila's shower cuts off; James antiques Sheila; BB scares Joshuah; Sheila's room gets TP'd; Sheila finds her surprise; and Sheila gets 1.30am pots & pans are posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page

Daily ratings - Scrub-a-dub edition

Ratings are based on entertainment value, and there was loads of it today

Wednesday's show was ages ago and they messed with the hamsters today like they should be doing all the time, so it's a special between-shows segment and wish list. First off, they need to lower the volume of the flames/trivia music. This is an ongoing problem for several seasons now, and it's horrendous. Secondly, they need to fix the audio bleed from one feed to another. Thirdly, while the new trivia is appreciated, they need to fix the errors in it. There's no excuse for still having several questionless answers in a row after all this time, nor for typos like the answer that says Jun went to the 'MTV Video Music Video'. C'mon Allison & Rich, just hire me for BB10.. I could point this stuff out to you privately, and make your lives a lot easier.

As for Saturday's events, the pranks were fun for all (except Joshuah), but we've already seen the flashlit masks in the windows, the stopped-up faucet, random rats around the place, and the BEEBIES in Diary. The hamsters haven't - but all this seemed to be about making a segment for Tuesday's show and all of this has been on CBS already. Also, it sounds like they showed the piece to them in there today which seems like unnecessary pampering and ego-boosting to me, especially after a good day of messing with them. It also caused Joshuah to complain some more about everything being scripted. Well, we all know the CBS version is about as far from reality as one can get, and while it will be fun to see another BEEBIES Diary, it would be a lot more fun seeing them just make cracks about the hamsters again than supposedly perpetrating all of today's recycled pranks.

Won: Motorcycle
Paired with Sheila

This guy is getting away with murder, particularly where Sheila's concerned. He's the ringleader for most of the stuff they're pulling on her, but somehow he stays in good with her, more or less. He has no pity for the sloppers, stuffing his face in their faces at every opportunity. He told them like it is though: 'All's you had to do was pick food. F-O-O-D.' Friday night's OB Incident will remain one of the funniest all-time feeds events, and that's largely due to Adam's laughter throughout, and literally rolling on the floor.

Paired with Chelsia

He's coming up with some good Sheila pranks too, although his are a bit more malicious than Adam's: it's personal with James. He & Joshuah went back for another round at 1.30am, banging pots & pans at her, but James hung back and didn't even go in. They got a kick out of it, but it got a bigger reaction from Adam than Sheila: it barely disturbed her. James is safe this week but absolutely everyone is talking about how he must be booted, and the sooner the better.

Paired with Neil  Sharon

I think he would have had a coronary or hit the panic button if they'd pranked him one more time today. I keep missing his breakfast shows but Diary told him today he has 'internet fans' who are enjoying them.. yep, we've reached that point in the season where they're told this stuff to keep them from sleeping round the clock. His TP confetti was a nice extra touch to Sheila's room, and it's mostly his shoes lined up on the counter to greet her in the morning. Update: after what can only be described as 'date convo' with James, Joshuah gathered up his footwear and put it away again.. maybe a pang of conscience after talking about reality for awhile.

Paired with Matt

What's she really up to?? Nobody knows for sure, and while it's driving some crazy, I think it makes the whole thing that much more enjoyable. She's being an especially good double agent for the Messing With Sheila Alliance, feeding them info about what she hates one minute while holding her hand the next, then returning to do spot-on imitations of Sheila's bitching. By the way, Yellowcard owes her a whole lot of swag and backstage passes for all the promo she's giving them.

Won: $10,000
Jen's boyfriend Paired with Allison

He's more of a tag-along on the pranking, participating and enjoying the results, but he seems too nice a guy to get into it too deep. The cruelest prank of all today was played on him. He left the kitchen when Adam was preparing to make a burger, unable to bear seeing or smelling it. Then when Adam finished cooking, he walked it all the way from the kitchen to the bedroom to wave it under Ryan's nose.. it just about did him in. Adam didn't stop at that though: at bedtime, he talked a monologue about Jimmy Dean sausage, Philly cheesesteaks, hoagies, and everything else Ryan's dying for.

Paired with Jacob (her ex)  Joshuah

No fun at all.

Paired with Adam

Ups for being an amazingly good sport considering everything that happened to her today. She said she was really only angry about getting the flour dumped on her, especially in her hair, and who can blame her? Nothing worse than a wet flour pasty mess. If they keep at it (and it sounds like they will), she may retaliate and/or snap in a big way but for now, Pranking Sheila is the best show in town.

Won: $21,000 Vegas trip
Paired with James

Sometimes a spitfire who gave us good fights & fireworks but she laid around with James way too much, which was her undoing and ours. She'll be remembered for feedmasters' attempts to protect her, strip/lap dance/makeout night, having sex, raunchy stories, a colorful vocabulary, getting smashed, smashing everyone's Easter eggs, and for going out with the nasty speeches they all threaten but rarely follow through with.

Paired with Natalie

America's Playa came on strong, prepared to showmance his way through all the girls and into the money. That didn't work out but he was fun to have around and he usually kept things light amid the chaos. He brought BJs to the feeds and made Bibles fun in there. Despite the fact that he's a pig, he has some good qualities too and he kinda grows on you.

Paired with Ryan

She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.

Revive-a-Hamster winner & loser
Paired with Amanda

He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.

Paired with Alex

She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.

Won: $5,000
Ryan's girlfriend/Paired with Parker

She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?

Won: $5,000
Paired with Jen

He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.

Paired with Joshuah

He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.

Paired with Sharon (his ex)

Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!

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Get free Hamsterwatch updates to your cell phone! Text 'follow hamsterwatch' to 40404 to sign up (or 21212 in Canada). see recent/all - more info

If so, apply to be on Big Brother 10 this summer. Read the eligibility requirements, particularly #9 about excellent mental health, apply before April 4, and/or attend a casting call. For better chances, get signed by one of the actormodel agencies they use (try this one - she cast Jen) and/or check Craigslist in late May/early June. In any case, do not tell them you're a feedster, avid fan, or anything more than a casual viewer of BB on CBS.

If you'd like to see REAL Big Brother this summer like all other countries do it, where we decide evictions and select a winner from a diverse cast, write to your local CBS station and demand it! They'll get the word to those that need to hear it.

Twists that work #12: Switching twins was first done on USA BB5 and since tried in six other versions, including two set of triplets. Triplets won in France's 2007 version.

Veto meeting is Sunday
Probably more pranks on Sheila
Tension, gloating and a chance of fights

Sunday, March 30 at 8pm: food comp, nominations, assorted dramas, maybe a Ryan/Adam eating piece

Wednesday's eviction show remained in fourth place with a 3.9 rating and 7 share, behind 'The Moment of Truth' on Fox with 6.5/11, 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent' on NBC with 4.6/8, and 'Wife Swap' on ABC with 4.4/7.
Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

Sex: 7x (3 Jen/Ryan; 4 James/Chelsia)
Oral: 4x (all Natalie/Matt)
Sex tallies are minumums, based on overwhelming circumstantial evidence

Self-service: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
  (Jen/Ryan, James/Chelsia,
  Alex/Sharon, Matt/Sharon)
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
 (Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Rodent bites: 1 (Ryan)
OB Incidents: 1 (Ryan/Adam)
Returned evictees: 3
 (Sharon, Ryan, James)
Revive-a-Hamster vote hoaxes: 1
Major fights: too many to count
Chelsia abortion/baby mentions after Diary said one more and she's out: 2

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Natalie is Head of Household
James & Joshuah are nominated
James holds veto

Everyone's on slop except Adam and Natalie

Finale is April 29 but 'subject to change'

First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there

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