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Clusterquack (Friday 8/17)

What did she say? (Thursday 8/16)

Swamp skating

Ratings - Crisco Wristwatch edition

Friday: Enough with the freaking fish. #bbstrike will happen again for Sunday's show if things don't improve on Saturday, all day and all night. Trivia for the veto comp is acceptable, if they don't force it for too long before or after. Thursday: They had a vote for only half the country to choose between $10k and a Have-not pass when the cash was a given, especially since there aren't many Sunday shows left to feature Have-not comps. They could be over, so it was pointless all around if so. Not to mention the fact that they copied Glass House by telling the hamsters about some current events and by asking for a public vote - on Twitter no less! ABC should sue them. Julie also 'borrowed' Jeff Probst's patented 'on my go' but he's on the same team so that's probably okay. They fed us fishies for Shane's HOH room but we've seen it before so no biggie there. The attempts to block stuff we already know have become comical, and combines with the healthy booze delivery to earn them solid ups.
TEAM JANELLE VTE Joe Friday: Downgrade from neutral because her best line 'I just want to lay down with people' was way under par for a day like this. Thursday: She had a hard time making it back and forth, and later said she got confused and started filling a different jug than she started with. That would be upsworthy in the humor department for most, but it's expected from her. Patting Ian and playing with his hair tonight was uncomfortable for all concerned.	TEAMIES: Frank, Ian, Jenn WON $16,000 - NOMINATED VTE Wil Friday: The smarmysmooth style is neither an appetizing nor an effective intimidation tactic, and it makes me feel a little pewky. Remaining outwardly calm might be mature and commendable in the real world, but this isn't. Thursday: Boogie going for the cash surprised nobody except Frank, and that started a tiny hairline fracture in the Froogie team. But Shane's win made Boogie's grouchy guy come back and he'll likely return tomorrow in a big way after noms. He might come up with another magical plan to save his day, but he won't need it: for some reason, they're all more scared of Frank than they are of him, but all they see is competition competition.. Boogie's dangerous in other ways. They should all know that, but apparently they don't. Dimwits.
TEAMIES: Shane, Willie, JoJo VTE Wil - EXEMPT FROM NOM/RE-NOM Friday: Super big ups for drama and more drama, and for coming up with the hospice/deaf-mute line in the midst of it all. And as a bonus, she was married on the 18th - not the 17th. (See Lines of the Day) Thursday: Good for her for going for and winning the safety jug since it offered everything the HOH jug did but without the enemy-making, plus she gets to play in the next HOH comp, plus it was a lot smaller and easier, plus it guarantees jury pay.. hello, why wouldn't they all see that? She got to parannoying in a big way when Ian told her she was the next target for Frank & Boogie, and her drunk girl is always good fun.	TEAMIES: Kara, Danielle, Jodi WON sushi party VTE Wil Friday: Downgrade from neutral due to the sad lack of drama, with the addition that after all that, he laid into Danielle with a severe daddy tone that was all the more noticeable since it followed a long fishies blockage. Manipulation is one thing; taking advantage of her utter controllability is another. Thursday: He was mostly silent for hours after the comp, almost sulky, and then he guilt-tripped Danielle for not telling him Wil had told her about his past career highlights - oh, and about the plan to backdoor him last week. He really pulled out the dad attitude with her and that could develop into something, but I don't know what. She's got Final Two deals with both Dan and Shane, and that will develop into something when it comes out. Dan's the worst culprit by far for fishies caused by singing and I'm starting to resent him for that.
TEAM DAN VTE Wil Friday: Upgrade! It's her world and they're all just living in it. I like to think of her as Rachel Lite. Thursday: I don't think I'm ready for another week of As Danielle's World Turns yet but here we are again. 24 hours after she & Britney declared Shane the enemy and their main target, she was in his bed again, shrieking and squealing like the drunk girl she was - never mind that she made Wil pinkyswear to tell Trey she's still interested, AND she's still dreaming of Hayden. The others are getting tired of living in Danielle's world and they're sniping where they can, but she keeps rebounding and bringing everything back to her, like a weeble that won't fall over.	TEAM BOOGIE WON 1 week spiritard - NOMINATED No vote (HOH) Friday: Another one who had every right to blow, and didn't. Where's the guy who hollered 'eat your fuckin' Froot Loops'? We need him back. Thursday: It wasn't the best night for Frank. He was sulky, annoyed at Boogie, and Jeff took his Julie home-skillet spot. He still hasn't voted once this season and might not again next week, but he could get his talk with Julie.
TEAM BOOGIE WON $3,000, 24 hour dog's life VTE Wil Friday: Downgrade to neutral for not getting involved (even though his name came up a lot) but he's still mostly in the clear, and nobody killed him. Thursday: He's annoying most in there (especially Boogie) and many out here with his constant BB stats, and annoyed hamsters are good for us. He's like a walking talking version of Attwx.com but she doesn't go around rattling everything off to everyone who didn't ask. They're finally catching on to his real game, but I (want to) believe he's still one step ahead of them.	TEAM BOOGIE WON $1,000, Hawaii trip VTE Joe Friday: Whatever. I can't even be bothered to change her arrow. Thursday: She put in an effort tonight but she's suffering for it. If she's still hurting tomorrow, we'll see even less of her than usual, especially since Wil's gone and the only convos she'll be having will be casual.
TEAM JANELLE No vote (nominee) Friday: He can do no wrong in my book these days. Who cares if he added bacon to his low-fat turkey burgers or doesn't wash his hands? I don't have to eat it. Thursday: I didn't see much of his family's segment but I gather they were a big hit, so that should counteract some of the hating on him out here. Easy ups for saying they're playing for $1 million tonight, and for explaining how Boogie schooled him about Diaries: 'KNOW YOUR ROLE - JUST BE REAL'. Those aren't necessarily the same thing, and while he plays his role to the hilt, I'm not sure he realizes what it really is.	TEAM BRITNEY - HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD WON Veto ticket VTE Wil Friday: Upgrade for going through with it, and for finally realizing he's in a game that's not just about winning comps but still coming up with doofus lines anyway. I have to hand it to him for keeping his cool with Danielle's hysteria and mood swings, although I'd rather he just tell her to STFU. Just once. Thursday: Last night's early morning study session with Joe was hysterical because they're both so clueless about everything, and he followed that up tonight by whistling around his room while his noms were being decided outside. When he was given the plan by Danielle and later the rest of the quackers, he was all for it even while realizing it'd make him the bad guy in Frank & Boogie's eyes. The poor guy doesn't even realize that jury begins after this next eviction and there will be a Froogie survivor sticking around. Somebody really should draw him a diagram with M&Ms - maybe it'll be BB in the form of Pandora's Box. They kind of owe him that after shafting his last HOH.
TEAM JANELLE - WON $5,000 He came in with the most entertainment potential we've seen in awhile but other than a few spectacular bursts such as his drunken sushi birthday, he failed to deliver on a regular basis. His Sharon Osbourne was spot-on and so was his Joe, but his quick wit wasn't enough to combat the overall doldrums of the season. He fiddled his hair constantly (like Kaysar), and he pinkyswore Janelle out the door. He starred in two of the three 'The Soup' segments to date, and he'll be missed.	TEAMIES: Wil, Ashley, Joe WON Nothing She was the first coach casualty but she went quietly, robbing us of an updated 'bye-bye bitches'. She didn't have a Howie or Kaysar to work with (or entertain us) this time, and her teamies either didn't know or didn't care how loyally she plays BB. She had some sippy fun but this cast didn't get her shtick, and she had pork rinds thrown at her and mean girl chatter reminiscent of BB6. She drove the early game but didn't play in any veto comps, and that was a huge loss for the season.
TEAM BRITNEY - WON nothing She promised to bring it, but apparently she left it on Staten Island since she failed to fight even when confronted. She talked a lot but it was mostly the same loops over and over: she only gets along with East Coast girls, she's street-smart, she's loyal, and she's loyal, know what I mean? She was scouted via Facebook to get here, and that's where she should have stayed. Now she can get back to modeling and piloxing.	TEAM BRITNEY - WON nothing (Possibly forfeited stipend) He spent two weeks laying in HOH bed, parannoying his brains out even though he was perfectly safe, and his fall from HOH was the hardest we've ever seen. He head-butted himself out the door when he might have been saved by veto, so he'll go into the BB blunders pile. I didn't come in with Hantzophobia so I'm grateful for the cheap entertainment he brought, especially the Froot Loops war and Willieisms like 'key-hos', 'corn-ho', and 'totin' pole'. He's the first hamster to pose for his mug shot while his season was still underway.
TEAM DAN - WON nothing She brought a big name and rep to the show but didn't live up to either. She seemed like a nice enough girl but she didn't bring much to the feeds, and her sister wife wardrobe greatly disappointed her pre-existing fanbase. She'll be remembered for extra shiny knees and little else - she didn't even campaign to stay.	TEAM DAN, for a minute - WON nothing Most were looking forward to seeing what she'd bring, but she got a raw deal and was gone before the feeds even kicked on. She'd said she was worried about lack of privacy & sleep, missing her family, and slop, so maybe BB wasn't for her, and she got away without airing any dirty laundry. It had to be humiliating to go back in for the group bikini pic but that's how they do things.