Big Brother 9 that dingo's
I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment.. the cheaper, the better    

March 8, 2008 - Day 30 (or 31)

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>> Ryan is Head of Household - Chelsia and Sharon are nominated - Chelsia holds veto <<

Spontaneous fun breaks out

Several of them started splashing around in the pool, and traveling around in a circle to make a whirlpool.. they were laughing, shouting & squealing like little kids, and the chlorinator duckie was bobbing & bouncing.. it was a good time

Sharon & Sheila sat on the sidelines, trying to work up a catsuit swimsuit arrangement - Big Brother scolded Sheila for not wearing it 24/7, so hopefully I won't have to do so again

James & Joshuah were parannoying in the kitchen about the veto replacement.. later James & Chelsia had their own fun in the shower

Feedmasters had some fun comparing Natalie's backside with Joshuah's.. she finished her portrait of Ryan, who was pleased with it

Cooking class

James & Joshuah were concocting with slop

Joshuah made a sort of brick and surrounded it with Lipton tea boxes.. James made a sort of mess, and enlisted Chelsia's help

Mostly they seemed to be pouring slop of various consistencies from one container to another


James & Joshuah took off their mics and the inevitable happened.. as soon as Chelsia saw it coming, she went topless.. she had fun for a minute

Cleanup took forever - slop was everywhere, including the photo wall.. James & Chelsia stripped in the backyard to shower off, and James swept up in his undies, displaying his junk, like he does.. Chelsia vacuumed, Joshuah scrubbed.. James & Chelsia had a spat when she told him he couldn't pour the slop down the disposal-less sink
Chelsia: You can't do that!
James: At your house you can't
James: It's your way or the highway.. here, you clean up [walks off]
Chelsia: Fuck this! I didn't even make this mess [walks off]
James: Stop telling me how to do fucking certain things
James: You just had a fucking bitch moment

Natalie's study aids

She's got half a roll of paper towels covered with nail polish hieroglyphics now

She held a study group with Sheila, Ryan & Matt to explain her symbols and theories, and they all started drawing some pretty elaborate conclusions.. using cryptography and symbolism, they more or less arrived at a general consensus involving a cruise ship and fruity martinis


Diary had previously checked and okay'd her other nail polish study aids, but they asked to see the new ones and they kept them, at least for now.. Natalie said that means she's on the right track

Armageddon Eve

They got some beer, but not very much

The testosterone alliance sipped it like shots in hopes it would have more effect

Outside, Chelsia seems to have forgiven James.. Joshuah joined them for a trash & bitchfest that got real ugly


Back inside, the fun kids punk'd Sheila by stopping up the faucet.. she got sprayed and almost wasted precious beer trying to pour some on Ryan.. he apologized as she was blow-drying her front
Later Ryan discovered last season's pillows under this season's slipcovers as they talked a number of fallacies about BB on DVD, and their ratings for this season

Kudos to my favorite feedmaster once again for the fast flicker between the current nominees and their potential replacements/bedmates.. James & Chelsia were poking each other, squealing and giggling, while Joshuah & Sharon (ever fingering her blankie) were staring dead ahead like American Gothic.. both couples were side by side in the same room, but you'd never guess if you didn't know

The estrogen alliance still thinks Matt's going to be nominated tomorrow: it should be one hell of a show on the feeds.. if you don't have them yet, now is the time to sign up.. veto meeting should be around noon/early afternoon, and then all hell is gonna break loose.. click for an audio explanation

Daily videos

Pool fun plus catsuit arranging; Semi-nekkid slop fight; Complex study session; Sheila gets punk'd; and Study in contrasts are posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page

Daily ratings - Splish splash/Spring forward hybrid edition

Ratings are based on entertainment value

Wednesday's show was excellent thanks to well-kept secrets sprung on them and us together. I don't know about a surprise that 'no one saw coming' but it sure worked out well and although every scenario had been mentioned in there and out here, nobody knew for sure which way it would go. Yes, it was mean of all of us who savored Allison's final tragic fall from triumphant smug to shocked misery over the span of a commercial break, but she brought it on herself so we might as well enjoy it. I'll overlook the drawn-out storylines about hinky vote plans, the staged-sounding Diaries, and the still-repetitive lesbian and Matt & Natalie junk because the (un)twist worked this time and it worked beautifully. They were all just as shocked as Allison and that's how it should be. I still have no idea how Ryan & Adam ended up the HOH finalists, but I think most were pleased with Ryan's win. Both Alex & Parker got raw deals and it was looking like Ryan was going to go the same route so it was a sweet win especially after his unanimous reprieve. Bottom line: big ups for doing it right and giving us a half hour of real reality tv.. the random guinea pig was icing on the cake.

Won: Motorcycle
Paired with Sheila

I've got to give him ups for sticking to the story when James went fishing and asked if they can get Matt out of there. Adam replied 'Yea, I think so,' without a hint to James that he's going up & out instead. I wasn't sure Adam had it in him - maybe he won't if things get more complex. As usual, I don't much care who goes.. I just want a good show and it looks like we're going to get one.

Paired with James

The main question buzzing around today was why did she go topless for the slop fight? James telling her that it didn't matter if they poured slop down the drain 'cause it isn't their house should have told her a lot about him as boyfriend material but then again, if she didn't pick up on that when he talked about peeing on sofas of people who put him up while riding his bike, she probably never will. He smoothed over their fight by being sweet but he left it all on her, and she bought that too. She has a few misconceptions about things in general: she thinks audio of their convos isn't picked up unless they're near a camera, and she's angry about Natalie's study aids. Doh, Chelsia's had access to nail polish & paper towels too.. she just didn't think of it.

Paired with Chelsia

He's a little paranoid but not bad.. yet. He still thinks Matt's going up tomorrow, or Joshuah. Having a slop fight in the kitchen was fun, but watching him then shove it down Chelsia's shorts like a snotty 10-year-old? Not so much. Then he fought with her when she was right: you don't intentionally ruin property just because it isn't yours. Also today, he told Joshuah that he was on board with the nominate Chelsia plan - not that he suggested it, but now that one more person knows he was ok with it, it's just a matter of time til Chelsia knows too - and not much time when it's catty Joshuah.

Paired with Neil  Sharon

If he's got so many problems with Natalie's genitalia, why doesn't he just stop looking at it? He advertises himself as being gay.. you wouldn't think that stuff would draw his eyes as often as it apparently does. What I've enjoyed most about this season is that it hasn't been filled with overwhelming negativity, and when they fought, trashed or gossiped they usually didn't go too far with it. Joshuah's getting to that point though, and he's not being fun or funny with it; just repetitive and nasty. (Granted it's a very fine line, and I'm not entirely sure where it lays.) But he should be a raving lunatic tomorrow when everything hits the fan, and I'm hoping for a good show from him then.

Paired with Natalie

He said he'd finally give Natalie that massage today but I don't think it happened, so he's stuck in neutral. He's 90% confident he'll be safe tomorrow and that's probably about right. As of now, Operation C to send him out the backdoor is off and James is going up instead, but there are still a few hours til it's official and we know how fast Ryan can change his mind. If things go per plan, Matt will be one of many to watch after the veto meeting: he said he was going to whisper in James' ear after it all goes down, 'Don't worry about your girl - I'll take care of her when you're gone.'

Paired with Matt

Big ups for not spilling about the Matt/James swap - who would have guessed she could keep it quiet? Why would Diary let her keep making nail polish study aids and sharing her theories with the others and then suddenly take them away? She might be right in thinking that she's getting too close to figuring out the guinea puzzle. It's good to see her back to her old self again though, painting portraits, chattering nonstop, no inhibitions whatsoever, and she's in good with the boys again. Plus she was closest to the facts when discussing availability to watch this and prior BB seasons. Matt & Chelsia loudly told her otherwise, but they were full of poop.

Won: $10,000
Jen's boyfriend Paired with Allison

Solid ups for being a solid guy, for being predictable again, for busting BB for using slipcovers over last year's pillows rather than buying them new ones, and for being so nice to Natalie about her portrait of him. It was a good job once again, especially considering she only uses nail polish! Amazing.

Paired with Jacob (her ex)  Joshuah

Joshuah even said she's driving him crazy, especially with the constant fingering her blue blankie/shawl thingy. With all the hubbub about Matt, James or Joshuah, everyone in there and out here has forgotten she's even nominated. But she is and will stay so, and perhaps all these grand backdoor plans will fall by the wayside so the lump of BB9 can get sent out instead.

Paired with Adam

She's keeping her catsuit on most of the time now that she's been told to, and she was a really good sport about getting sprayed in the face & front when she was least expecting it. She vowed to get back at Ryan sometime when he's not looking, so be watching for that. Except for Diaries, this season has felt refreshingly non-scripted after the last two, but I have to ask why she spilled the Matt plan so suddenly after she'd been in on the deal in the first place? She did it almost as soon as she was in the catsuit, too. I hate to be cynical but we must question these things: she is after all the one with legit acting experience.

Paired with Ryan

She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.

Paired with Amanda

He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.

Paired with Alex

She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.

Won: $5,000
Ryan's girlfriend/Paired with Parker

She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?

Won: $5,000
Paired with Jen

He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.

Paired with Joshuah

He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.

Paired with Sharon (his ex)

Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!

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Widespread parannoying (© BB5 Diane)

Feuds are brewing all over: it's Team Testosterone vs Team Estrogen

Veto meeting is Sunday

Revive-a-Hamster: Vote at for Jacob, Jen, Parker, Amanda, Alex or Allison to come back. Polls close Tuesday, March 11 at 11.59pm PT

Jacob would make or break Sharon's game, bring angry sex potential, and we'd find out what he looks like

Jen would make or break Ryan's game, cause a lot of drama, and have sex

Parker would be entertaining and probably smarter the 2nd time, and he'd make the sponsors happy

Amanda would create chaos and cause fights, cry a lot and make excuses

Alex would be funny and flirty, talk in funny voices, do talk shows, and probably be a nice guy again

Allison would be Allison, and would beat Kaysar's 3 eviction record by combining them in the same season, and unanimously

Ryan is Head of Household
Chelsia and Sharon are nominated
Chelsia holds veto

On slop: Chelsia, Sharon, Sheila, Joshuah

In a catsuit: Sheila

Testosterone Alliance (my name only): Matt, Ryan, Adam, Natalie, Sheila

Estrogen Alliance (my name only): Joshuah, Sharon, James, Chelsia, formerly Sheila

Operation C is/was the plan to backdoor Matt

Sounds like the winner of Revive-a-Hamster will be reintroduced to the habitat on next Wednesday's live show? One out and one in like the Neil/Sharon swap, but without the mystery

Finale is April 29 but 'subject to change'

First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there

Wednesday's show remained in third place with a 3.8 rating and 6 share, behind 'American Idol' on Fox with 16.0/25 and 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent' on NBC with 4.7/7.
Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

Sunday, March 9 at 8pm (remember to change your clocks): Nominations, assorted dramas

Sex: 3 (Jen/Ryan)
Oral: 2 (Natalie/Matt)
Self-service: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
  (Jen/Ryan, James/Chelsia,
  Alex/Sharon, Matt/Sharon)
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
 (Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Major fights: too many to count

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